Now that you’ve got your outfit sorted, here’s how to act to make a killer first impression and make friends with all the right people. The most important thing to remember is that EVERYONE is as nervous as you are. Everyone. No matter how popular they were in middle school/how “cool” their clothes/how rich their parents are, they’re anxious too. And, everyone wants to make friends. No one goes to high school thinking “God I hope I don’t meet anyone new for the next 4 years.” So take advantage of that with these 5 easy—but hugely impactful—tips.

 

1. Adopt a Mantra

My motto: I AM A GROWN WOMAN!

I’m a firm believer in having a personal mantra or theme song. My current song is “Grown Woman” by Beyonce because lately it seems like I’ve had to remind people that I am a grown ass woman and can do whatever I want, so back off. Anyway.

Pick a phrase that really resonates for you. It can be as simple as I am OK just the way I am or I deserve to be happy. Oddly, the ones that feel the most uncomfortable at first are the ones you need to be telling yourself the most. 

Start adopting your mantra now so that it’s familiar by the time school starts. When you’re angsty on that first day, say your mantra while you inhale deeply. It’s positive power will show on your face and make a huge difference.

 

2. Shoulders Back, Chin Up

THIS is a girl who owns the room 

In a new environment, we naturally curl into a ball as best we can. Head down, shoulders hunched, trying to disappear. Don’t. I know it’s awkward and scary but if you can lift your chin three inches to put that head up, you will project pure confidence, and that’s intoxicating. People want to be around someone who is confident and serene. I know you may not feel that way, but studies show that changing body language can influence thoughts. So faking confidence with your body can actually make it true!

 

3. SMILE

 

Doesn’t Taylor look like the friendliest celeb ever? She is. I’ve hung out with her.

OMFG this is important. It sounds simple and stupid, but often, the most effective tips are! You don’t need to walk around grinning like an idiot, but flash smiles at people you see in the hall, even if—especially if—you don’t know them. Shoot for one out of every 10 people. Then 1/5. People like to be smiled at, it’s reassuring and relaxing and a mood booster. You want people to associate you with that feeling.

Plus, it makes you seem like you are oh so cool and calm that you’re just breezin’ on through the first day. Again, that is alluring—people want to be around someone like that. Being popular is about creating a buzz and a mystique around yourself, and it’s as easy as smiling.

 

4. Talk To Everyone Who Sits Near You

Pull a Katie and mingle with everyone–it’ll give them a chance to behold your awesomeness!

Like I said, everyone is nervous and everyone wants people to like them. Take that first step by introducing yourself to your seatmates. ALL of them—even the rednecks, the goths, the jocks, the black kids, the Asians, the handicapped kids, the blonde, EVERYONE. You never know who someone may be. It could be your new BFF, the most popular guy at his middle school, the best lacrosse player in the state—who knows!

What to say?

“Hey I’m Kacey, I went to Vista Verde, how about you?”

Totally easy icebreaker that everyone is comfortable can answer. If you take the lead chatting with people, you establish yourself as a social leader, aka a potentially popular person. And it’s SO EASY.

 

5. Let It Go

 

LET IT GO!

Were you uncool in middle school? SO WHAT LET IT GO. Seriously. Let it go. You aren’t cursed. You are the master of your own destiny. If you want to be popular, these are the tricks. If you want to cast off the person you used to be, then do it! But, realize that you may have to do just that. You may have to dress and act more mainstream. It doesn’t mean you never have to cosplay or go to punk rock shows. It just means it doesn’t need to be your main persona.

Me, I’m obsessed with My Chemical Romance but I dress preppy because socially, that works for me. It’s fine for me to dress normally and listen to my music on my own and have it be a private thing. I don’t need to lead with it.

I know, it’s not fair—you should be able to have piercings and green hair and still be prom queen, but that’s not super realistic and it sucks. So, you’ll need to decide how much you’re willing to sacrifice in the name of mainstream popularity. Don’t want to compromise? That’s cool, but then don’t spend the next 4 years being bitter that you’re not cheer captain. Find your lane and make it work for you.

 

 

Next time, I’ll tell you what sort of activities will get you to the top of the social ladder! For more, follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO!

 

I went to a very small and nerdy middle school and felt like everyone in my freshman class already knew each other by the time school started. So how did I go from unknown dork to Prom Queen? I’ll tell you in this three part series.

First up, STYLE! Time for an upgrade, darlings.

Selena has gone from a totally a basic b*tch so fierce and fashionable.

 

Ninety percent of communication—and therefore 90% of the impression you give off—is non-verbal, meaning body language and looks tell people more about you than anything you’re going to say. That means you want a killer first day outfit. But this does NOT mean the trendiest outfit you can find! It’s natural to latch onto trendy clothes thinking that they make you socially “safe”—if you’re wearing something a magazine says is cool, then you are automatically cool too, right? WRONG. And here’s why.

 

1. Trends Aren’t Flattering

 

festival-style

WTF IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE? So much ugly. Avoid ANYTHING described as “festival style”!

Do you know who the biggest consumer group in the world is? Asians. So, clothes are cut for their bodies—flat fannies, small breasts, shorter arms, narrow hips and shoulders. I am built like a Kardashian, not an Asian, so most “trendy” clothes look just terrible on me. So unless you’re a tiny Asian girl—or a long willowy model type like Kendall Jenner, because models can wear anything—avoid styles that are ultra trendy, aka ones that are new this year.

 

2. Trends Make You Blend In

Which one will a boy notice? NONE of them.

If you want to be popular in high school, you need to stand out and be a leader. Ironically, to truly stand out is to be comfortable in your skin, and that happens when you discover your own personal style and put your own spin on it! Wearing the same thing everyone else is may seem like a sure way to make you popular but the opposite is true.

 

3. The Trendiest Girl Is Always The Weakest

I think I’ve made my point.

There’s a difference between being fashionable and trendy. Fashionable means you pick and choose from trends and tweak them to suit your personal vibe and style—you don’t change your style to suit trends. A girl who relentlessly chases trends does so because she doesn’t feel confident enough to just be in her own skin and let her personality speak for itself. And girls like that will never be popular because that lack of confidence is SO apparent.

 

4. Boys Don’t Understand Trends

She may as well be wearing an electrified fence.

She may as well be wearing an electrified fence.

Like, at all. I’ve polled a lot of guys of all ages and NOT ONE like the high-waisted shorts trend. Not one. NONE. Unfortunately, fashion honchos don’t make clothes that are attractive to the opposite sex. So it’s up to you to ignore trendy clothes and do you.

So what should you wear? Follow these steps…

1. Figure Out Your Style

Taylor has a signature style but still finds a way to put a trendy spin on it!

As an OC girl, my style is breezy, preppy with some surfer girl thrown in. I like bright colors, prints and gold. Living in New York City, that’s not always the “cool” choice in a sea of black-clad fashionistas. But I don’t care because I’m comfortable with what I’m wearing.

Don’t know your vibe? Sit and think of some adjectives that entice you. For me, it’s “sparkling” (not sparkly, note), “refreshing,” “world traveler,” “chic,”

 

 2. Figure Out Your Body

OK so Sofia Vergara isn’t a teenager, but she DOES know what silhouettes and styles work on her body–and she sticks to them. And while it may sound like it’d look boring, it clearly isn’t!

Girls carry their weight in one of three places: tummy (apple shape), lower body (pear shape) and upper arms/back (rectangle or triangle shape). Here’s how to dress each one…

  • Apple Shape

Kate Upton’s dress is wisely loose around the middle and short to show off legs.

I’m an apple shape which means I show off my legs and hide my tummy. That means shorts + peasant blouses, skinny jeans + loose patterned tops, and very short trapeze dresses. High-waist shorts, crop tops, jumpsuits and knee-length anything do NOT work for this shape. Not at all.

  •  Pear Shape
Kim-Kardashian-Tumblr-Tuesday-UhHuhKardashians-8

Kim Kardashian draws attention to her little middle and therefore creates a coveted hourglass shape.

Your waist is smaller than your hips, so show that off while hiding thighs. Stick to full skirts + tight shirts, lined maxi dresses (unlined or cheap cotton ones will stick to cellulite) that are fitted at the waist, and anything fitted/belted/banded at the waist or draws attention to your middle. Avoid shorts, clingy skirts, ankle boots AT ALL COSTS and skinny jeans (bootcut shapes will balance out hips and legs).

  • Rectangle/Triangle Shape
Hilary's red pants draws the eye down from her upper arms since that's where she gains weight and makes her look curvier, ditto with the blousy white shirt.

Hilary’s red pants draws the eye down from her upper arms since that’s where she gains weight and makes her look curvier, ditto with the blousy white shirt.

Your shoulders may be as wide as your hips and your waistline lacks definition, so interesting silhouettes (low necklines, tulips skirts, peplum tops, etc) are your friend! Avoid things that are too clingy and solid colored since you’ll end up looking like a giant rectangle.

 

Fuse The Two!

Lauren Conrad always looks fashion forward but never like she's trying too hard.

Lauren Conrad always looks fashion forward but never like she’s trying too hard.

Find clothes that nail your vibe AND flatter your body! Warning: you probably won’t amass as many garments as the trend-chasing chick, but you’ll look awesome in everything you wear! If your clothes feel less exciting than the trendy ones your friends are buying (and looking terrible in, mark my words) jazz things up with jewelry/shoes/bags and hair accessories that go with your style. Bonus: it’s cheaper!

Next in the series, I’ll tell you how to ACT your first day of school to ensure you turn heads and make friends with all the right people! In the meantime find me on Instagram andTwitter @ShallonXO!

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As a professional writer, I don’t always enjoy reading. Sometimes after a day of looking at words, I don’t want to come home and look at MORE words. It’s like a gynecologist watching porn–I mean enough is enough already!

But I still try to make reading a priority and choose books that will enhance my life and further my agendas. So here are the books that have literally changed my life and helped me get a boyfriend. Take a look!

1. Why Men Love Bitches

Being a B isn’t a bad thing anymore!

Bitch is about to be your new favorite term. When I read this I realized that I had it all backwards–I thought that I was being “nice” to guys when I was really being a spineless pushover who let guys get away with murder because I thought it’d make them like me more. After I read this and put her tips into action, the turnaround in my dating life was incredible and immediate. It is the foundation for all of the advice I give you guys!

 

2. The Secret

You have an abundance!

Literally everything I’ve ever achieved in my life–from my first kiss to my book deals to my TV show–is because of what I learned in The Secret, which is to “ask, believe, receive.” As girls, we have a hard time asking for what we want–we don’t want to offend people, or rock the boat, or we feel like we don’t deserve it. The list is endless. But when you declare what you want and truly believe that you deserve to have it and that it’s possible, it’s amazing how things manifest. I know it sounds kind of hippy-dippy but trust me, this is a quick and easy read that will absolutely 100% change your life.

 

3. The Virgin Suicides

My favorite book ever!

What do boys really think of girls? This book tells you. Told through the eyes of teenage boys, it really shows you bafflingly complex and alluring they find us. If you feel not confident, confused and like you’ll never understand boys, read this. You’ll walk away feeling like a goddess.

 

4. Exes and Ohs

:D

Yes, my book :) Hey, every girl needs a fun beach read, right? Almost all of the stories I allude to in my videos are chronicled in Exes and Ohs, and it’s pretty damn funny if I do say so myself. So if you think you’re awkward, pick this up and prepare to breathe a sigh of relieve over your own love life!

 

 

 

XO,

Shallon

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Summer is a double edged sword for me. While I’m THRILLED to be out of the grey hellscape that is winter, my relief is short lived because soon it’s time to start panicking about how I look in a bikini.

So if you’re like me, here’s a summer sexiness survival guide with some tips on how to look good in a bikini, whether you have one month, one week or one hour to prepare!

 


 

ONE MONTH OUT: Revamp!

In 3-5 weeks you can seriously change your body. It won’t be super easy or buckets of fun, but cowboy up for that small amount of time and focus on doing these things…

  • Hire a nutritionist

Controlling my food portions isn’t not exciting or instantaneous but it DOES work. A nutritionist helps me monitor my eating, since having a good body is 70% food, 30% exercise. I know getting a nutritionist sounds expensive and extreme, but if you’re a teenager you’re still on your parents’ insurance, which means you may only pay $10 copay per visit to a nutritionist and it is the BEST MONEY EVER SPENT.

No nutritionist? Log what you eat to see when your snacking weak spots are!

No nutritionist? Log what you eat to see when your snacking weak spots are!

  • Read The Zone Diet

It gives you a really good overview of what foods are good to eat and why carbs can be bad and fat can be good. Even if you don’t want to do the diet, it’s still really informative and easy to understand!

Grab a used copy on eBay or Amazon for only a few bucks!

  • Stop Drinking Soda

When I cut out soda and did the Zone Diet, I lost 15 pounds in three weeks! Diet sodas are bad too because really, they’re all chemicals. That’s super gross. And all those bubbles make you gassy and fat and bloated. How sexy!!

So much yuck.

  •  HIIT The Gym

Get it, HIIT?  That stands for High Intensity Interval Training, which burns the most calories in the shortest amount of time AND helps build lean muscle. A 20 minute HIIT workout does more than 45 agonizing minutes on a treadmill. Google it and find similar classes at your local gym or YMCA. Always eat a little bit (half a protein bar, toast with a wee bit of PB) before HIIT workouts otherwise you’ll get sick :(

20 minutes of work for a whole summer of sexiness!

Or, if you can’t afford a gym, download the Nike Training Club app for about $10. You can choose your workout (cardio, strength, slimming, core, etc) and set your own music and you can do almost all of them at home with basically no equipment. It gives you a HELL of a workout, believe me. Also, be sure to incorporate planks into your routine since that’s what gives you ab muscles you can actually see!

  • Save $10 A Week
    If you can amass $40-50 you can buy just about all of my must-have beachside looks that will boost your confidence!

This little piggy WENT SHOPPING BITCHES!

 

ONE WEEK OUT: Shop! 

I talk about this in my How To Feel Confident In A Bikini vid on YouTube, but it bears repeating: if you don’t like where your body is at, make yourself feel as good as possible by perfecting every other aspect of your beach look. If your outfit, accessories, skin and makeup are all on point, then you won’t be so focused on your figure flaws–and neither will anyone else!

  • Formulate Your Summer Look

Mine is very “Riviera glam”–I love flowly caftan coverups, gold wedges, bangles, hoops, and of course, big fancy hats.

TOTES my look!

That look works for me and where I vacation, but if you’re in high school or college, not so much. Instead, think about what your summer style is–festival? boho? surfer girl? preppy?–and really go for it. Find a celeb icon who embodies your summer style and spend an afternoon googling around for how to replicate her look for less. I find almost ALL my clothes at TJ Maxx or Marshall’s, and Payless has terrific beachy shoes!

  • Skip The Shorts 

Whatever style you go for MAKE IT A DRESS. No shorts. Shorts are for boys and gym teachers, and rompers never fit right. And if you’re not sure what kind of style vibe you want to give off, opt for a neutral cover up dress, like this one, which could be anything from preppy to glam depending on the accessories, shoes and hat!

From Target, $17!

From Target, $17!

  •  Select a Scent

A sexy summer perfume is an absolute must. Victoria’s Secret has great summer body mists, and I also love Beach by Bobbi BrownBorn in Paradise by Escada and actually (embarrassingly) Jennifer Aniston’s perfume! But a great affordable option is Saint Barts Soleil by Mark and it’s small enough to travel with too!

 

Saint Barts Soleil by Mark.Avon, $24

While you can get away with a cheap cover up/hat/shoes, you actually want to invest in a good fragrance; if a perfume is cheaply made (like, from the drug store) it breaks down in the heat and can smell sour and rank. Not hot.

  • Practice Your Walk & Posture

You know what a stickler I am for bad posture and clunking around in heels. If you plan to make wedges part of your summer style, make sure you can walk in them. Shoulders back, thumbs pointing forwards, boobs out. Otherwise you’ll look like Mr Burns skulking around the cabana.

Eeeexcellent

  • Tan

Not in a tanning bed, obvs, but start applying self tanner in light layers. If you wait until the day before your beach/pool excursion, you’ll be tempted to slather it on too thick to get dark ASAP and it’ll be streaky and terrible. Every other day add a light layer of a gradual self tanner, this Neutrogena one is my favorite and totally goof-proof.

Neutrogena Micro-Mist, $13 at the drug store

 

  • Cut The Salt

Salty foods (diet and regular sodas, canned soups, microwave meals, pasta sauce, ramen and basically anything from a restaurant) makes you retain water and bloat. Women can hold up to 9 POUNDS to water weight! Can you imagine dropping that much just by cutting back on sodium?? Read food labels and if something has more than 20% sodium, skip it. Drink a lot of green or detox tea and water to get you at your absolute thinnest!

Yogi detox tea, $3.50

  • Get a Mani-Pedi!

Boys seriously notice nasty feet. Enough said.

It’s really hard to give yourself a pro-looking pedi, so invest in your feet with a salon pedicure!

THE DAY OF: Work It!

Ok, you’re tanned, de-bloated, nails did, and smellin’ good. But there’s still that pesky issue of YOUR BODY. Here’s how to make the best of it:

  • Make A Deal With Yourself

Put a 24 hour freeze on body angst and just, almost as an experiment, pretend like you haven’t a body issue in the world! If 24 hours is too long, try 10 minutes. And spend 10 minutes free from the hell of obsessing about how you look. You may feel relieved, then happier, then more magnetic then discover that SURPRISE! people do like you better when you’re not so focused on tugging at your bikini, keeping that towel wrapped around you, or constantly poking at your thighs. The more attention you call to your flaws, the more people will see them.

My beach idol is Beyonce because she never looks like she’s thinking of ANYTHING but having fun. No stress, no self-consciousness. If she does worry about her body, she doesn’t do it in public. A true It Girl!

  • Sit Strategically

My butt is my best feature and my tummy my worst, so I’m ALWAYS laying on my tummy with my fanny slightly perked up. If you want to hide your thighs, sit up in a lounge chair with your knees bent. Have great abs? Lay down to showcase them. Boobs need a boost? Lay on your side so that they slide together and look perkier.  In fact, the “side lay” is the best position overall, but it’s a little hard to maintain for too long since your arm muscles are engaged.

The side-sit is the most universally flattering since it stretches out tummy fat, pushes boobs together, makes your arm look thin and flexed by holding you up and camouflages thigh issues!

  • Show Your “Fanny Fold”

Fact: your butt looks better if you show more of it. Having your bikini bottoms cover ALL of your butt makes you look wide and diapery. Observe:

See what I mean?

See what I mean?

Instead, pull your bottoms in just a bit so you can see the fold in your fanny. This is WILDLY attractive to boys and is super flattering to your bum!

So much more flattering, no matter what your bum looks like!

  • Skip the Mono-kini

These are INCREDIBLY unflattering. The middle cutout makes curvy girls look enormous and boyish figures look even more rectangular. They are not good for ANY type of figure, burn them if you have one and either opt for a one piece that shows your fanny fold, or a bikini.

This girl has a sick body but her monokini makes her look wide and shapeless, drawing the eye to her hips instead of her boobs, waist or legs or face. FAIL.

  • Avoid Mirrors

I’ve learned how to table my body angst and just let go…until I hit the bathroom and see what I really look like, then I get depressed and anxious all over again.

No bueno.

So, I don’t look in the mirror! I’ll literally walk sideways into the ladies room

  • Flex, Don’t Suck

Abs are my problem area, and I’ve learned that sucking in doesn’t help, but flexing your abs does! When you suck in, you look panicked and stricken and you draw more attention to your problem area.

No less weird when girls do it

But when you flex, your tummy flattens and your posture aligns!

  • Look At Photos Of Hot Girls

It sounds counter-intuitive, but studies show that looking at pictures of hot girls with great bods will actually boost your own self esteem! Weird, I know, but also strangely true.

Sizzlin’!

So head to Pintrest to look at sexy bitches then envision your body as theirs and WERK IT HUNNI!

XO,
Shallon

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Hi Shallon!
Theres this guy I like and we’ve  talked a few times and I really want to date him and feel like the feelings are mutual. I’ve tried to drop a hint for him to ask me out by saying  I  want to see that Spiderman 2 movie but he didnt take the hint! Instead he said “Oh me too, I’ll probably see it with a couple of friends.”  ?!?! I really think he likes me but just didn’t get what I was trying to say.  How can it make it a little more obvious without sounding desperate? 
 
–Joanna

Identifying with Hermione a little too much lately?

Semi-Jilted Jo,
Boys are so dense sometimes. While it’s really tempting to be like “HELLO RETARD I’M ASKING YOU OUT!” remember: girls are the bait, not the fish. Our job is to lure boys in, that way we aren’t risking rejection and embarrassment–we wear underwire bras and give birth, we suffer enough. Instead, we float along and let boys come to US. But sometimes a little fishy isn’t good about taking the bait! So while he didn’t get the hint about Spiderman, try it again, maybe when Godzilla comes out and if he says he’ll see it with his friends, be like “Yeah I was gonna go with a group this weekend and see it at so-and-so- mall” then pause a beat, like an idea is just coming to you. “Hey why don’t you bring your dudes, we’ll all go.” Be SUPER casual about it, as if it’s the most logical and natural thing in the world that your two groups of friends would see a movie together.

Tick. Tock.

If he’s like “Ehhh i don’t know…” just shrug and say “No worries, maybe some other time.” Again, SUPER DUPER casual, like someone just turned down a piece of gum you offered. You couldn’t care less! And this is as far as you take the suggestions: either he’ll take the bait or he won’t. Chances are, he’ll think about it a bit and be kicking himself for not realizing that you were asking him to hang out. In that case, he may suggest another hang out.

“HUR DUR A GIRL LIKES ME?”

The bottom line is: if a guy wants to see you or hang out, he’ll make it happen. He’ll get over his friends teasing, his mom’s objections, his busy schedule, his poison ivy, whatever it is! He’ll make it happen. If he doesn’t, don’t waste your time and maybe use him as a flirtation practice dude so that when a better guy comes along (who has the good sense to realize that you’re awesome!) you’ll be ready!!

He will def be feeling this way

 

I really love getting y’alls comments on this blog, but they’ve basically been overrun with spammers :(

Truth.com

So I’m going to turn off comments from here on out, and instead if you need to reach me, tweet or Instagram me @ShallonXO or drop me a line at AskShallon@gmail.com!

 

OMFG PROM IS COMING!!

Prom night can either be totally amazing or literally scar you for life. There are three main parts to Prom: your date, your dress and your behavior. I’ll show you how to ensure that each aspect is flawless. Read on!

 

1. Your Date

Junior prom: I was beyond thrilled when my crushed asked me, even though all my friends said he was a twerp. Sure enough, the DAY of prom, he decided liked this other girl, ignored me all night and I cried for about two weeks after. Hellish.

justin bieber

I think he even wore a red tux too :(

Senior prom: The boy I really liked didn’t ask me, but (in a rare moment of good decision making) I said yes when the cute sweet guy asked me. Even though I wasn’t super into him, I decided to just give the good guy a try for once. Turns out, we had the best prom ever. He was so sweet, so gentlemanly, so romantic. It was heavenly. And now, years later, guess which one is hotter, richer, funnier and sexier? YEP, Mr. Senior Prom!

josh hutcherson

Team Peeta!

 

The point is: your date can make or break your evening. However, this isn’t Sadie Hawkins–you can’t do the asking. Seriously you can’t. If there’s a boy you really want to go with, be a little extra flirty with him in the weeks leading up to prom. If he is interested in you TRUST ME he will ask you. This is a golden opportunity for him to come after you. If he doesn’t, I hate to say it, but that’s your answer. So if a different  guy asks you, say yes even if he’s not your OMFGDREAMGUY4EVR. He may just be a Peeta.

2. Your Look

  • The Dress

Repeat after me: you do not have to spend a ton to look fab on prom night. RentTheRunway has amazing designer dresses that you can borrow for under $60. But make sure that you’re getting a dress in the proper size. No one is going to be checking your tag to see if you’re in a 6 or an 8, so pick what is FLATTERING, even if it’s the size up! Also, make sure it works with your usual style. Hate strapless bras? Don’t get a strapless dress. Why torture yourself? The overall point of your dress is to make you look like a princess, and that happens when you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing. Also, make sure the color flatters your skin tone. Blush, yellow and rose gold are all super cute hues, but not on a pale blondie like me.

rent the runway prom

All of these styles are from RTR–cheap, cute and Shallon approved :)

  • The Shoes

I see SO MANY girls in great dresses, chic hair, flawless makeup…and they’re clomping around like llamas because they can’t walk in their shoes. If heels aren’t your thing don’t wear them. A guy won’t be turned off if you wear cute ballet flats. “Yeah I was going to kiss her but then I was like whaaaatt she’s wearing flats?! Hell no, bro.”–said no guy ever. He will be, however, if you’re hunched over wobbling because you can’t navigate heels. Not hot.If you’re going with heels, PLEASE practice walking in them before hand, on a flat hard surface, not carpeting. But please PLEASE don’t do what I did and change out of your heels and into SNEAKERS during the dance. Holy mother of god what was I thinking.

photo

Yes, my real senior prom photo and YES I REALLY WORE THOSE SHOES WHY SHALLON WHY?!

  •  Your body

One word: POSTURE. I know I sound like your mom but seriously, you need to stand up straight–it’s the #1 thing you can to do look skinnier and sexier and more confident. It makes your tummy flat, butt perky, and boobs bigger. And, bonus, it’ll make you seem cooler than every other girl. It Girls stand up straight–always. Check your posture by looking down at your thumbs–are they brushing your thighs? Bad. Roll your shoulders back so that your thumbs point forward–that’s how you know you’re standing up straight and sexy.

mary kate ashley olsen

Boys find the Olsen twins repellant. Could it be their awful posture?

Next, slather Jergen’s BB Body which will give you a sexy glow and slight shimmer, but not in a skanky strippery way :)

Now, perfume! Always opt for an expensive fragrance over a cheap drug store one. Sephora has rollerball versions of high-end perfumes (my current fave is Nirvana White by Elizabeth & James) for under $20. Roll it onto your pulse points–wrist, neck, cleavage, behind the knees and nape of your neck, but don’t rub it in, that breaks down the scent molecules. If you put too much on, rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad can get it off!

 

Your Behavior

When I say the phrases “belle of the ball” or “princess for the evening” what do you picture? A girl who is demure, polite, charming and a little bit mysterious, I bet. You do not picture a girl who is loud, whiny, drunk, slutty or worried about looking fat, do you? NO YOU DON’T.

For each dance I went to (and now, each gala, which are basically grown up proms–so fun) I find a “celebrity spirit animal” to guide me through the evening and boost my confidence. As you may know frommy vids, one of my big tricks to faking confidence is to pick a celeb persona to emulate, click here to watch the video!

For example, I went to the Kentucky Derby last weekend and one of my dresses reminded me of something Hayden Panettiere’s character, Juliette, would wear on Nashville. So I let that vibe come through and semi-pretended to be Juliette Barnes–spunky, feisty, flirty, brazen–throughout the day. Tonight, I’m going to a charity gala and my belted lavender dress is very Kate Middleton so I’m going to be oh so gracious and sweet and polite and warm.

kate middleton

My Kate-esque gown will get me in touch with my inner princess

But some of you may be saying “Ummm why would I want to pretend to be someone else on prom night?” Well relax. We all know that “spirit animal” or no, your authentic personality always shines through, as it should! This is just an idea to help you overcome prom night jitters and have a behavior guide if you’re not used to such a fancy evening with a date. So if there’s a vibe that bubbles up from your dress or your hair, go with it!

 

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Shallon help! 

My crush and I kissed a few times and had an amazing time together…but then he just kind of vanished. He won’t return my texts and never wants to hang out, and I hear that he’s flirting with other girls and he’s becoming really popular. But when I see him at a party, he’s all excited to see me. ?!?! What’s going on?

–Rebecca

 

Royally Confused Rebecca,

Ugh YUCK. I hate hate hate HATE things like this, where you have this amazing awesome intense connection with someone and then POOF they just vanish and it’s like ummm hello? If we had fun why do you not want that fun to continue?!

So true.

So there’s a few different reasons why he’s gone MIA and gotten weird…

1) He’s popular now and is drunk with that power
When a guy become popular, it’s like he becomes a celebrity. and we all know how good celebrities are at staying faithful! he’s basically like a kid in a candy store. To wait around for him to “sober up” is a huge waste of time.
harry styles

They always act soooo innocent

2) He’s just learning how to flirt

Teenage boys are just waking up to their flirting skills, whereas girls have known how to flirt and charm since we were 5! So again, they’re super amped on this new found power and don’t want to limit themselves to one girl, or even know how, really.

3) He’s kind of a dick

Most likely, this is it. Honestly, I have no clue what makes guys disappear when a good fun cool chick is right there in front of them. But that’s what makes them dicks–is that they don’t recognize a quality girl when they see one!

So here’s the big question: why is he still so into it when you guys see each other in person? Well, why wouldn’t he be? He does like you, he is attracted to you, and you are lots of fun. Of course he’s going to react to that! But whether or not he can sustain that behavior and that interest is a different story (see #1 and #2) It doesn’t sound like he’s in the headspace for a relationship, so stop trying to make it happen.

Learn when to let go, unlike our darling Taylor :(

Maybe in a few years when he grows up a bit, he’ll realize how rad you are and want a relationship. But that will ONLY happen if you bow out of the current situation gracefully, which means no calls, no texts, no emo feelings talks. Otherwise he’ll associate you as “the crazy girl” (unfair, I know) and that label lingers.

harrystyles

At least it did for me. And Taylor, obviously.
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Hi Shallon

The other day my boyfriend and said, “I like you a lot, but I see us as more of friends .”  I asked if we can make our relationship work…or was this it? And he replied with,  ”I think we should take a break and see how that works. I think it’s what’s best right now .” What?! Does this mean we can eventually get back together? Or is this his crappy way of breaking up with me? Ahhh! 

–Mai
Poor Mislead Mai,

Ugh, the old “let’s take a break.” BEYOND annoying because yeah, is this a break up or what? So there are two reasons why a guy may say this to you:

1) He Really Does Need A Break

jussy

Maybe he’s having a family problems, maybe he’s super stressed, maybe his dog died and he can’t even concentrate on anything else. If there’s an actual THING that could be distracting him from your relationship, then he’s serious when he wants a break. Or, vice versa–if you’re going through something that is making you kind of a crappy GF, he may want to put a pin in the romance until you sort stuff out. BUT, he will make it very very clear that this isn’t a break up and that you guys just have some issues to work through.

What to do: make sure you seriously evaluate what is causing this break, and put a time limit on it and reduce your contact with him. If, say, you or he is too caught up with SAT studying , make a pact that you’ll cool it for 4 weeks and then revaluate the relationship.

But remember, a good, solid relationship doesn’t need breaks. If a guy truly needs to step away, he may want to hook up with other chicks and have you wait around until he’s done. Um, no.

 

justin

 

2) He’s Over It

And yes, he’s a wuss for not just telling you. The may have gone with the break line because he’s trying to spare your feelings or maybe because he really isn’t sure that he wants to be 100% done…but he wants to keep you on the hook and make sure you don’t move on until he decides. Either way, it’s a dick move.

selena

What to do: Flip the script on him–tell him that YOU think it’s best to just break up completely. Delete his number, avoid him in the halls, don’t speak one word about him to mutual friends. Basically, you call his bluff and let him know you won’t be waiting around for him to decide when and if he wants you.

In most cases, he’ll panic thinking that you’ve moved on an try to get you back, but really evaluate whether or not that’s best for you. If he can pull this move once, will he do it again? And if he doesn’t come back? Well good. You’ve made a clean break and saved your dignity, which is the most important thing post break up, because it also saves you from additional pain.

selena2

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Dear Shallon,

I’m 17 and have a crush on this super popular guy at school. He’s tall, blonde, plays volleyball and is totally gorgeous. He’s my best friend’s cousin but he never says ANYTHING to me. He’s super outgoing and I’m really shy! How can I get him to notice me?

–Medina

My dear Miss M,

It’s a pretty good bet that popular guys usually date popular girls. Why is that? Because popular girls catch their attention–that’s what makes those girls popular! They’re outgoing, fun, happy and not bad to look at, either. When they walk into a room, people notice because they want people to notice them. Their posture, the way they toss their hair, what they wear–it all adds up to them appearing confident and in control.

So, that’s what you need to become. I’m not saying that you need to try out for soccer just because the popular girls are–you still be you, just…You 2.0!

So the key to being getting his attention is to be his equal, socially. You need to be popular to so he’ll notice you. How do you become popular? Be confident! How do you do that? Watch this video :)

Now that you’re stuffed to the gills with confidence, let’s put it into action and become the queen bee…

 

If you follow all of these tips, TRUST ME, he’ll notice you. And don’t be afraid to strike up a chat with him. Asking a guy questions is a great way to kick off a convo. “So what was my BFF like as a baby? I bet she screamed all the time!” or “Hey did you already take that Chem final, was it super hard or fine?”

Guys like to feel important and asking them questions make them feel that way. So even if these tactics don’t end up getting the guy, at the end of the day you’ll have revamped your social status and infused yourself with tons of confidence. And to me, that’s better than all the blonde volleyball boys in the world ;)

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