Poser Alert!

Every year, I try to have a signature pose. I’m currently trying to decide on my 2011 look, but first, let us visit with the ghosts of sexy pictures past. There was…

The Possessive Orangutan Arm:

The Armpit Dazzler:

The Kiss-Kiss Bang-Bang:

The Tits Ahoy Matey!:

And of course, this year’s ubiquitous Paris Hilton Potty Cross Leg:

For 2011, I’m considering a new, bold look. My friend Joan taught it to me, and it’s a nice chance from the usual hand-on-hip pose. I call it the Bells Palsy Pop, since I have to let my arm dangle limply at my side whilst simultaneously shoving my booty out:

I know it looks like I’m just turned to the side, but this pose is actually incredibly difficult to execute. It’s also hard to pull off because I’m so goddamned fat right now. Don’t even try and say otherwise. I’m kidding of course, feel free to shower me with compliments.

OR, there’s this one you saw before, the Slanty Shoulder Shake (alternately known as No I’m Not Wearing Extensions):

So tell me my dear readers, what do you think of the Bells Palsy Pop versus the Slanty Shoulder Shake?? Tell!