The Golden (Ratio) Girls

Scarlett as she is (left) and how she'd look if she were perfectly symmetrical

Beauty isn’t “in the eye of the beholder” and you aren’t “beautiful no matter what they say”–you are beautiful only if you fit into a rather rigid set of parameters including:

• Facial symmetry–almost no one is perfectly symmetrical. But scientists once measured Greta Garbo and declared her symmetrically flawless. You can see why I named my dog after her.
• Glossy lip–reminds men of when, ahem, a lady’s other lips are wet (gross I know)
• Features associated with youth
  • shiny long hair
  • white teeth
  • high cheekbones with flushing high on the apple

Body wise, women should strive for the a .7 waist-to-hip ratio. Tons of famous women have the .7 ratio, from Kate Moss to Jessica Alba to Marilyn Monroe. It doesn’t matter your size or even how busty you are; the golden ratio implies perfect fertility that unconsciously lures men into your clutches.

Jessica & Kate: skinny but ideal

The point of all this? I’m a .74 and my new fitness goal is the golden ratio. I’ve calculated that I have to lose about 2 or 3 inches from my waist to be in the zone. I’m kind of at an advantage because my ass is so big.

Kelly Brook & Shallon: bootylicious and ideal (well, almost, in my case)

So, if any of you guys have any fitness tips on how to drop inches (without shrinking my butt) please do let me know!