In Vino Veritas

My friends and I were talking about how different alcohols effect us in wildly different ways. If Klo and I drink Whiskey we get into a slap fight (all in good fun). This happened before her wedding and she ended up breaking two of my fingers and I gave her a black eye. Unfortunately, if Klo isn’t around I’m inclined to not-in-such-good-fun fight pretty much anyone else.

Tequila and rum make me dance (probably because it reminds me of vacation), Champagne makes me judgy and prissy but wine…well, we all agreed that wine should just be called “crying potion.” Because God forbid any of u get one glass in us (when home, alone, of course) and the tears start.

My friend Katie, who works for a wine company, asked for help naming a new wine aimed at 25 year old girls who are into glammy things like sparkly cell phone covers, lip gloss and air kisses–basically me in a nutshell.

I gave her a slew of ideas, like “LBD,” “Trophy Wife” and “Red Stiletto” but really, I think I’d be the most likely to buy a wine with a more honest name like “Weeping Over Your Ex,” “Facebook Stalking,” “Depressing Beyonce Playlist” or perhaps “I’m Planning a Non-Existent Wedding on Pintrest.”

What would you name a wine if given the chance?