Quote of the Day: Cat Marnell

“[Adderall] made me who I am now. I was a little more talkative than other people. I could write a bit better. I was a little skinnier and crazy-eyed. I got more attention than other people. It’s like the same term they use to describe narcissistic people, which is “conspicuous existence” and it’s the same thing on speed. You have a conspicuous existence. I have never not been on speed since.

If anything, that’s what you are addicted to: you become a little more special than other people. I’ve always been an enhanced version of a human being. Of myself. I’m addicted to that. When I went off of it, you know what happened? I became normal. I looked normal. My ideas were normal.”

 

This is a quote from drug-addicted XOJane.com beauty blogger Cat Marnell, who was axed this week when she refused to get clean. I’m not addicted to Adderall or anything (promise Mom!) but it’s a really interesting concept: becoming dependent on something that makes you the best version of yourself.

For a lot of girls, it’s a boy. Or they think it is, anyway. For others, it’s social cache and then FOMO (fear of missing out) sets in because you really can never be popular enough, just like Cat can’t ever be high enough. What am I addicted to? I don’t know…maybe all of it. Maybe it’s a pill here, a party there, a kiss once in awhile. But hopefully if you spread out all my vices, they form a sweet, benign hum instead of a roar like Cat’s.