The Digest Diet Day 4: Fast Start? Um More Like Frustrating Start

Warning: Real Talk Ahead!

Ok. I’m trying to be positive about this whole thing because I believe in this diet and in Reader’s Digest in general but I have not lost ONE POUND. Not one.

Remember my last update where I had dropped a tad of weight? Yeah, it’s back. And no, I haven’t cheated. Ok fine I had a vodka soda last night–but just one! And it was teeny! Other than that, I’ve stuck to this plan like a mofo and I’m really really frustrated.

Me, this morning at vh1 for an appearance. Not exactly super svelte

Not only that, but I’m fcking starving, like, all the time. I have to double my dosage of Adderall just to keep me from gnawing off my arm and pacing around the vending machines like a famished panther. I don’t know how legitimately fat people are doing it. They’re used to taking in a ton more calories than I am daily so this must be pure torture. But I bet they’re at least losing weight!

Now this rant isn’t just some bitter, hunger-fueled diatribe. I’m saying all this 1) in the interest of telling everyone what being on this diet is actually like if you’re my size (5’5″, 135) and 2) because I am hoping and praying and assuming that this will turn around.

With boss lady extraordinare Tionna Smalls. Know what isn't small? ME.

Here’s the thing: yeah, some of the other bloggers have dropped 6lbs because they have more to lose. And it’s probably water weight–which still totally counts, btw–but it comes off far faster than actual fat poundage.

I’ve talked to other girls my size who have done various cleanses and most of them assure me that the first week was like “Um WTF nothing’s happening?!” but then week two saw a dramatic drop. So, I’m hoping that’s what happens.

Have any of you experienced this? Any words of encouragement/advice for me? I swear to God I’m thisclose to falling face first into a pile of cupcakes.