Ask Shallon: My Crush Likes My Best Friend!

Firstly, I”m sorry–that sucks SO BAD. I had a flawless, gorgeous BFF in high school and every single one of my crushes liked her and it was pure uncut torture.

Unfortunately, boys aren’t like the passenger seat in an F-150–you can’t call dibs. Laying claim to a boy doesn’t mean he’s going to like you back. All it means is that, hopefully, your friend isn’t going to actively pursue him or cock-block you. Can girls cock-block? You know what I mean.

So, you not speaking up probably wasn’t going to change the outcome of this situation anyway. For whatever reason, he likes her. And no, you shouldn’t have “gone in for the kill”–that’s a boy’s job. Not yours. And if you get used to doing so, you’re making some VERY bad habits that will not serve you well in the future. A guy who has to be chased isn’t a guy who’s truly into you.

Now, how to deal with this. I’d sit your friend down and be like “Look, I didn’t say anything but I really really liked Isaac for a long time and while I”m happy that you’re happy, it’s pretty painful for me to watch you two together. So I’m going to take a step back for a bit, just kinda do my own thing and hang with some other people and give you two—and myself–some space. No hard feelings and I’m not mad, I just need to not be around this right now.”

If she’s your friend, she’ll understand and hopefully tone down the PDA bc really, it’s lame and gross and embarrassing anyway. And if she doesn’t? Then fuck her and fuck him too. You need to protect yourself, not worry about a “friendship” with someone who actively makes you miserable. That’s not friendship.