Shallon Online » Pictures http://shallononline.com The official site of dating expert, author, and star of MTV's hit "Downtown Girls", Shallon Lester! Tue, 20 Jan 2015 21:30:27 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.5 InstaShall http://shallononline.com/2013/08/16/instashall/ http://shallononline.com/2013/08/16/instashall/#comments Fri, 16 Aug 2013 17:37:12 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=1534 Hey. HEY you. Do you follow me on Instagram? Well you know what, you should. First of all, I post a ton of AMAZINGGGG PICS. And secondly, if you ask me a question in a comment, there’s a 99% I’ll respond ASAP since I’m on Instagram constantly. It’s a problem.

Here’s a little [...]]]> Hey. HEY you. Do you follow me on Instagram? Well you know what, you should. First of all, I post a ton of AMAZINGGGG PICS. And secondly, if you ask me a question in a comment, there’s a 99% I’ll respond ASAP since I’m on Instagram constantly. It’s a problem.

Here’s a little sampling of the glory you’re about to be a part of…

I'll never stop doing duckface. NEVER.

 

Bad decisions, ahoy!

 

Chicks & bikinis what more do you want?

You’re welcome/I’m sorry

]]> http://shallononline.com/2013/08/16/instashall/feed/ 0 How Do You Sum Up Shallon in One Word? http://shallononline.com/2011/09/02/how-do-you-sum-up-shallon-in-one-word/ http://shallononline.com/2011/09/02/how-do-you-sum-up-shallon-in-one-word/#comments Fri, 02 Sep 2011 19:51:13 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=1000 So my wonderful magical friend Christine is working on this quarterly magazine where all her pals write essays on the season. I happily contributed one, the writing of which was far easier than her latest request: come up with a summery picture and a ONE WORD description of yourself.

As you know, writing about myself [...]]]> So my wonderful magical friend Christine is working on this quarterly magazine where all her pals write essays on the season. I happily contributed one, the writing of which was far easier than her latest request: come up with a summery picture and a ONE WORD description of yourself.

As you know, writing about myself in biographical terms is next to impossible for me. I start with “OC native Shallon Lester…” and then I got nothin.

But here are my ideas for my 1-word sum up. Thoughts?!?!?

  • Blonde
  • Author
  • Sparkly
  • Hockey (it’s an adjective to me, ok)
  • Star (what, this isn’t a goddamn congressional deposition ok? i can be whoever i want.)
  • Zbornak
  • Devereaux
  • Wanderluster (Wanderlester?!)

Umm…ok that’s all I’ve got.  I kind of like Zbornak. And these are possible pictures, and yeah that’s a Smirnoff Ice. WHAT.

 

 

HALP.

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/09/02/how-do-you-sum-up-shallon-in-one-word/feed/ 0 Love is a Battlefield http://shallononline.com/2011/08/23/love-is-a-battlefield/ http://shallononline.com/2011/08/23/love-is-a-battlefield/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 10:45:39 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=964 I stop into every Barnes & Noble to make sure my book, Exes & Ohs, is front and center, and always take note of what books are next to it. The Brooklyn Park Slope store seemed to know the perfect companion to my saucy, ever-so-slightly-slutty memoirs…especially if you happened to be my boyfriend [...]]]> I stop into every Barnes & Noble to make sure my book, Exes & Ohs, is front and center, and always take note of what books are next to it. The Brooklyn Park Slope store seemed to know the perfect companion to my saucy, ever-so-slightly-slutty memoirs…especially if you happened to be my boyfriend and need a guide to dealing with me…

 

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/08/23/love-is-a-battlefield/feed/ 0 LOLZ of the Day http://shallononline.com/2011/05/25/lolz-of-the-day/ http://shallononline.com/2011/05/25/lolz-of-the-day/#comments Wed, 25 May 2011 20:22:52 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=779 Call me crazy (if you haven’t already by this point), but I cannot CAN NOT stop LOL’ing at this.

Classic.

]]> Call me crazy (if you haven’t already by this point), but I cannot CAN NOT stop LOL’ing at this.

Classic.

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/05/25/lolz-of-the-day/feed/ 0 Help Me Choose My Author Pic for Exes and Ohs! http://shallononline.com/2011/03/19/help-me-choose-my-author-pic-for-exes-and-ohs/ http://shallononline.com/2011/03/19/help-me-choose-my-author-pic-for-exes-and-ohs/#comments Sat, 19 Mar 2011 05:25:11 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=688 I know I probably don’t seem this way, but I’m cripplingly indecisive. God forbid someone sends me out for laundry detergent or tasks me with ordering the appetizers. I need an Ativan just to clear out my Tivo.

So obviously darlings, I need your help choosing an author photo for my new novel, Exes and [...]]]> I know I probably don’t seem this way, but I’m cripplingly indecisive. God forbid someone sends me out for laundry detergent or tasks me with ordering the appetizers. I need an Ativan just to clear out my Tivo.

So obviously darlings, I need your help choosing an author photo for my new novel, Exes and Ohs: A Downtown Girls’ (Mostly Awkard) Tales of Love, Lust, Revenge and a Little Facebook Stalking.

Here are the two finalists–please leave your vote in the comment section and tell me which pic should grace the back cover of my book!

Stars n’ Tits

OR

 

 

Just Call Me Miss Van der Woodsen

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/03/19/help-me-choose-my-author-pic-for-exes-and-ohs/feed/ 2 Guess Who http://shallononline.com/2011/02/21/guess-who/ http://shallononline.com/2011/02/21/guess-who/#comments Mon, 21 Feb 2011 15:53:54 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=681 My gorgeous friend Nasim Pedrad (star of Saturday Night Live) (Yes Nas, I WILL brag loudly and often about you!) and I at the Guess? store opening during fashion week.

Just a few seconds after this was taken, a fan came up to me and told me she loved Downtown Girls, [...]]]> My gorgeous friend Nasim Pedrad (star of Saturday Night Live) (Yes Nas, I WILL brag loudly and often about you!) and I at the Guess? store opening during fashion week.

Just a few seconds after this was taken, a fan came up to me and told me she loved Downtown Girls, then gushed apologies for bothering me and “disturbing my privacy.”

Umm…c’mon people. I ain’t Barack Obama, bother me all you want! I love it when you guys come up and say hi so please please do! Unless you see me outside Justin Bieber’s house, stalking him and taking pictures. Then feel free to ignore that and please do not tell the District Attorney.

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/02/21/guess-who/feed/ 1 Poser Alert! http://shallononline.com/2011/01/04/shallonlesterredcarpet/ http://shallononline.com/2011/01/04/shallonlesterredcarpet/#comments Tue, 04 Jan 2011 10:57:35 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=568 Every year, I try to have a signature pose. I’m currently trying to decide on my 2011 look, but first, let us visit with the ghosts of sexy pictures past. There was…

The Possessive Orangutan Arm:

The Armpit Dazzler:

[...]]]> Every year, I try to have a signature pose. I’m currently trying to decide on my 2011 look, but first, let us visit with the ghosts of sexy pictures past. There was…

The Possessive Orangutan Arm:

The Armpit Dazzler:

The Kiss-Kiss Bang-Bang:

The Tits Ahoy Matey!:

And of course, this year’s ubiquitous Paris Hilton Potty Cross Leg:


For 2011, I’m considering a new, bold look. My friend Joan taught it to me, and it’s a nice chance from the usual hand-on-hip pose. I call it the Bells Palsy Pop, since I have to let my arm dangle limply at my side whilst simultaneously shoving my booty out:

I know it looks like I’m just turned to the side, but this pose is actually incredibly difficult to execute. It’s also hard to pull off because I’m so goddamned fat right now. Don’t even try and say otherwise. I’m kidding of course, feel free to shower me with compliments.

OR, there’s this one you saw before, the Slanty Shoulder Shake (alternately known as No I’m Not Wearing Extensions):

So tell me my dear readers, what do you think of the Bells Palsy Pop versus the Slanty Shoulder Shake?? Tell!

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/01/04/shallonlesterredcarpet/feed/ 2 127 Hours (Minus 126.5) http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/127-hours-minus-126-5/ http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/127-hours-minus-126-5/#comments Mon, 03 Jan 2011 16:30:26 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=550

My and Diane’s BF Chris doing a little James Franco 127 Hours role-playing during our off-roading adventure, courtesy of Desert Storm Hummer Tours, which I HIGHLY recommend taking if you are ever in Scottsdale or Phoenix.

And just in case you’re wondering, yes I am wearing FIVE sweatshirts. Its effing freezing out here [...]]]>

My and Diane’s BF Chris doing a little James Franco 127 Hours role-playing during our off-roading adventure, courtesy of Desert Storm Hummer Tours, which I HIGHLY recommend taking if you are ever in Scottsdale or Phoenix.

And just in case you’re wondering, yes I am wearing FIVE sweatshirts. Its effing freezing out here but SO MUCH FUN!

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/127-hours-minus-126-5/feed/ 0 Saddle Bags http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/saddle-bags/ http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/saddle-bags/#comments Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:33:41 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=555

Diane, Wen-Wen, me and Jenny at Saddle Ranch in ollllll town Scottsdale, where dignity goes to die! And wear fedoras and date rape true religion jeans and gold jewelry. :/

]]>

Diane, Wen-Wen, me and Jenny at Saddle Ranch in ollllll town Scottsdale, where dignity goes to die! And wear fedoras and date rape true religion jeans and gold jewelry. :/

]]> http://shallononline.com/2011/01/03/saddle-bags/feed/ 1 Hairapy http://shallononline.com/2010/12/11/hairapy/ http://shallononline.com/2010/12/11/hairapy/#comments Sat, 11 Dec 2010 13:00:08 +0000 http://shallononline.com/?p=456 I’ve had the winter blahs lately–NY is just so cold right now–so I’m trying to focus on the good things in my life. Like my hair! Isn’t it getting long??

Mama keeps telling me it’s too long but I want it in Lohan territory. Like, when she had the classy extensions, [...]]]> I’ve had the winter blahs lately–NY is just so cold right now–so I’m trying to focus on the good things in my life. Like my hair! Isn’t it getting long??

Mama keeps telling me it’s too long but I want it in Lohan territory. Like, when she had the classy extensions, not the janky ones. What do you guys think–cut or keep?

]]> http://shallononline.com/2010/12/11/hairapy/feed/ 4