Ask Shallon: My Crush Liked Me Back But Now He’s Ignoring Me–What Happened?

By shallon On May 9, 2014 · Leave a Comment

Shallon help!

My crush and I kissed a few times and had an amazing time together…but then he just kind of vanished. He won’t return my texts and never wants to hang out, and I hear that he’s flirting with other girls and he’s becoming really popular. But when I see him at a party, he’s all excited to see me. ?!?! What’s going on?

–Rebecca

Royally Confused Rebecca,

Ugh YUCK. I hate hate hate HATE things like this, where you have this amazing awesome intense connection with someone and then POOF they just vanish and it’s like ummm hello? If we had fun why do you not want that fun to continue?!

So true.

So there’s a few different reasons why he’s gone MIA and gotten weird…

1) He’s popular now and is drunk with that power

When a guy become popular, it’s like he becomes a celebrity. and we all know how good celebrities are at staying faithful! he’s basically like a kid in a candy store. To wait around for him to “sober up” is a huge waste of time.

They always act soooo innocent

2) He’s just learning how to flirt

Teenage boys are just waking up to their flirting skills, whereas girls have known how to flirt and charm since we were 5! So again, they’re super amped on this new found power and don’t want to limit themselves to one girl, or even know how, really.

3) He’s kind of a dick

Most likely, this is it. Honestly, I have no clue what makes guys disappear when a good fun cool chick is right there in front of them. But that’s what makes them dicks–is that they don’t recognize a quality girl when they see one!

So here’s the big question: why is he still so into it when you guys see each other in person? Well, why wouldn’t he be? He does like you, he is attracted to you, and you are lots of fun. Of course he’s going to react to that! But whether or not he can sustain that behavior and that interest is a different story (see #1 and #2) It doesn’t sound like he’s in the headspace for a relationship, so stop trying to make it happen.

Learn when to let go, unlike our darling Taylor :(

Maybe in a few years when he grows up a bit, he’ll realize how rad you are and want a relationship. But that will ONLY happen if you bow out of the current situation gracefully, which means no calls, no texts, no emo feelings talks. Otherwise he’ll associate you as “the crazy girl” (unfair, I know) and that label lingers.