Ask Shallon: How To Hang With Your Crush Without Asking Him Out!

By shallon On May 18, 2014 · Leave a Comment

Hi Shallon!

Theres this guy I like and we’ve talked a few times and I really want to date him and feel like the feelings are mutual. I’ve tried to drop a hint for him to ask me out by saying I want to see that Spiderman 2 movie but he didnt take the hint! Instead he said “Oh me too, I’ll probably see it with a couple of friends.” ?!?! I really think he likes me but just didn’t get what I was trying to say. How can it make it a little more obvious without sounding desperate?

–Joanna

Identifying with Hermione a little too much lately?

Semi-Jilted Jo,

Boys are so dense sometimes. While it’s really tempting to be like “HELLO RETARD I’M ASKING YOU OUT!” remember: girls are the bait, not the fish. Our job is to lure boys in, that way we aren’t risking rejection and embarrassment–we wear underwire bras and give birth, we suffer enough. Instead, we float along and let boys come to US. But sometimes a little fishy isn’t good about taking the bait! So while he didn’t get the hint about Spiderman, try it again, maybe when Godzilla comes out and if he says he’ll see it with his friends, be like “Yeah I was gonna go with a group this weekend and see it at so-and-so- mall” then pause a beat, like an idea is just coming to you. “Hey why don’t you bring your dudes, we’ll all go.” Be SUPER casual about it, as if it’s the most logical and natural thing in the world that your two groups of friends would see a movie together.

Tick. Tock.

If he’s like “Ehhh i don’t know…” just shrug and say “No worries, maybe some other time.” Again, SUPER DUPER casual, like someone just turned down a piece of gum you offered. You couldn’t care less! And this is as far as you take the suggestions: either he’ll take the bait or he won’t. Chances are, he’ll think about it a bit and be kicking himself for not realizing that you were asking him to hang out. In that case, he may suggest another hang out.

“HUR DUR A GIRL LIKES ME?”

The bottom line is: if a guy wants to see you or hang out, he’ll make it happen. He’ll get over his friends teasing, his mom’s objections, his busy schedule, his poison ivy, whatever it is! He’ll make it happen. If he doesn’t, don’t waste your time and maybe use him as a flirtation practice dude so that when a better guy comes along (who has the good sense to realize that you’re awesome!) you’ll be ready!!