5 First Day Tips For High School Freshman, Part 2: How To Act

Now that you’ve got your outfit sorted, here’s how to act to make a killer first impression and make friends with all the right people. The most important thing to remember is that EVERYONE is as nervous as you are. Everyone. No matter how popular they were in middle school/how “cool” their clothes/how rich their parents are, they’re anxious too. And, everyone wants to make friends. No one goes to high school thinking “God I hope I don’t meet anyone new for the next 4 years.” So take advantage of that with these 5 easy—but hugely impactful—tips.

1. Adopt a Mantra

My motto: I AM A GROWN WOMAN!

I’m a firm believer in having a personal mantra or theme song. My current song is “Grown Woman” by Beyonce because lately it seems like I’ve had to remind people that I am a grown ass woman and can do whatever I want, so back off. Anyway.

Pick a phrase that really resonates for you. It can be as simple as I am OK just the way I am or I deserve to be happy. Oddly, the ones that feel the most uncomfortable at first are the ones you need to be telling yourself the most. 

Start adopting your mantra now so that it’s familiar by the time school starts. When you’re angsty on that first day, say your mantra while you inhale deeply. It’s positive power will show on your face and make a huge difference.

2. Shoulders Back, Chin Up

THIS is a girl who owns the room 

In a new environment, we naturally curl into a ball as best we can. Head down, shoulders hunched, trying to disappear. Don’t. I know it’s awkward and scary but if you can lift your chin three inches to put that head up, you will project pure confidence, and that’s intoxicating. People want to be around someone who is confident and serene. I know you may not feel that way, but studies show that changing body language can influence thoughts. So faking confidence with your body can actually make it true!

3. SMILE

Doesn’t Taylor look like the friendliest celeb ever? She is. I’ve hung out with her.

OMFG this is important. It sounds simple and stupid, but often, the most effective tips are! You don’t need to walk around grinning like an idiot, but flash smiles at people you see in the hall, even if—especially if—you don’t know them. Shoot for one out of every 10 people. Then 1/5. People like to be smiled at, it’s reassuring and relaxing and a mood booster. You want people to associate you with that feeling.

Plus, it makes you seem like you are oh so cool and calm that you’re just breezin’ on through the first day. Again, that is alluring—people want to be around someone like that. Being popular is about creating a buzz and a mystique around yourself, and it’s as easy as smiling.

4. Talk To Everyone Who Sits Near You

Pull a Katie and mingle with everyone–it’ll give them a chance to behold your awesomeness!

Like I said, everyone is nervous and everyone wants people to like them. Take that first step by introducing yourself to your seatmates. ALL of them—even the rednecks, the goths, the jocks, the black kids, the Asians, the handicapped kids, the blonde, EVERYONE. You never know who someone may be. It could be your new BFF, the most popular guy at his middle school, the best lacrosse player in the state—who knows!

What to say?

“Hey I’m Kacey, I went to Vista Verde, how about you?”

Totally easy icebreaker that everyone is comfortable can answer. If you take the lead chatting with people, you establish yourself as a social leader, aka a potentially popular person. And it’s SO EASY.

5. Let It Go

LET IT GO!

Were you uncool in middle school? SO WHAT LET IT GO. Seriously. Let it go. You aren’t cursed. You are the master of your own destiny. If you want to be popular, these are the tricks. If you want to cast off the person you used to be, then do it! But, realize that you may have to do just that. You may have to dress and act more mainstream. It doesn’t mean you never have to cosplay or go to punk rock shows. It just means it doesn’t need to be your main persona.

Me, I’m obsessed with My Chemical Romance but I dress preppy because socially, that works for me. It’s fine for me to dress normally and listen to my music on my own and have it be a private thing. I don’t need to lead with it.

I know, it’s not fair—you should be able to have piercings and green hair and still be prom queen, but that’s not super realistic and it sucks. So, you’ll need to decide how much you’re willing to sacrifice in the name of mainstream popularity. Don’t want to compromise? That’s cool, but then don’t spend the next 4 years being bitter that you’re not cheer captain. Find your lane and make it work for you.

Next time, I’ll tell you what sort of activities will get you to the top of the social ladder! For more, follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO!