How to get your ex-boyfriend back? Being in a relationship does not mean that you will experience happiness all the time. There are also instances when you need to handle conflicts and difficulties, such as deciding if it is really the right time to end things.
Another difficult part of being in a romantic relationship is figuring out whether it is still worthwhile to give it a try, especially after you have broken up with him.
If you and your ex-boyfriend have decided to end things but you are now thinking of getting him back after some careful thought, then ensure that you consider some important factors first.
Find out if applying certain solutions on how to get your ex-boyfriend back is indeed the right thing to do. You don’t want to risk your time and effort to a relationship that’s still bound to fail, do you?
- Table of Contents:
- Break-Up Reason
- Actual Reason
- Right Decision
- Find Out Why
- Improve Yourself
- Forgive and Forget
- Avoid Dating
- Avoid Contact
- Time Management
- Avoid Begging
- Initiate Contact
- He Loved You Before
- Discuss Things
- Build Healthy Relationship
- The Ex Factor Guide
Before taking any step on how to get back with your ex-boyfriend (click here for our article about getting your ex-girlfriend back), keep the following vital factors in mind:
Reason for the Break-Up
You need to pinpoint the exact reason for your break-up. Such can help you determine if it is something that you can still work out or fix. If the issue is serious, such as cheating, lying, emotional or physical abuse, etc., then ensure that you carefully think about whether or not getting back with him is indeed good for the both of you.
Assess whether there is really a low or zero risk of those issues coming back. Think hard about the specific thing that broke you up. Is the reason something that you can live with or forgive?
You need to make sure that such issue will no longer haunt your relationship again before deciding to get him back. Note that you can’t get a hundred percent guarantee that such issue will no longer happen.
Willingness to Compromise or Talk About Your Previous Issues
Before you ever try to apply some techniques on how to get back your ex-boyfriend fast, you have to figure out if both parties are willing to compromise. Do you still harbor, resentment, and other negative feelings towards your ex? Does he think negatively of you, too?
Remember that resentment, anger, and other negative feelings won’t go away that easily. So you have to figure out first whether the both of you have really let go of all your resentment towards each other.
Also, you need to decide whether you can already rationally talk about the things that went wrong in your relationship last time.
You will instantly know that you are willing to start fresh if there are no longer negative feelings towards each other as well as when you can start talking about the break-up in an honest and civil manner.
Find out if you are already willing to talk about your previous issues with him and address each one openly and honestly. Find out if he can do the same, too.
If yes, then probably both parties are indeed ready. In addition, you have to reflect on yourself, too. Can you forgive yourself for the things you have contributed to the failed relationship?
Note that even if there is a mutual agreement for the break-up, you still did something that further aggravated your issues – ex. the harsh words that you blurt out at the heat of the moment.
Ensure that you have already forgiven yourself for all these. Also, avoid allowing this negative energy to linger since it might only interfere your second attempt to fix things.
Another thing to figure out is whether or not there is still room for both parties to compromise. You might have broken up because you are too workaholic and career-oriented that he started to feel ignored.
In case you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, are you willing to compromise by making some changes in your work habits? If yes, then bringing back the two of you together is worth the shot as there is a chance that it will work this time.
Actual Reason for Your Plan to Get Back Together
Find out the exact reason why you want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend. Is it because of pressure? Your family or friends? Your kids?
If the reason does not actually come from you but from other people, then avoid pressuring yourself to exert some effort to save the relationship.
The sole reason should be love – the two should still have lingering feelings for each other. Your love should be strong that you can overcome the issues you had before.
To determine if it is the right decision to be together again, then do a self-reflection. Are you still willing to go the extra mile to win him back if your life is going on exactly the way you want to? If yes, then you must really love him that you want to bring him back to your life to make it more complete.
Did you grow up and mature since the time you have broken up? Did both of you set goals that you were able to accomplish individually when you were no longer together?
Note that in most cases, couples who break up often get the chance to improve and focus on themselves when they were no longer together.
You will know that it is the perfect time to exert some effort on getting him back if you have already achieved your goals or at least took some steps to reach them.
Also, find out if you matured or have grown up from the break-up. It is important for you to grow up after the break-up as this will let you bring a newer and improved version of yourself into the relationship. The same should go for your ex.
Do you have realistic expectations about yourself and the relationship that you are planning to rekindle? Remember that relationships are not always easy.
You may have figured that one out when you broke up and when you had a difficult time fixing your issues. That said, before trying to exert some effort to get him back, set realistic expectations.
Avoid letting yourself get delusional over the whole romance. Be realistic on the specific thing you want, what your ex wants, and how your entire relationship can benefit from it.
Also, your decision to get your ex-boyfriend back should also let you figure out whether you are already ready to focus on your future. If you just plan to date him again just because you miss having someone by your side, then nix such idea right away.
Your decision to get back together should not be prompted by any trivial reason except for your love for each other.
Ensure that the two of you are also in a similar page. You need to have similar expectations about the relationship and your future together. Before you officially become a couple once again, discuss your expectations honestly.
Talk about what you really want. With that, you can evaluate your situation, allowing both parties to formulate a clear decision when it comes to restoring your relationship.
Before applying some tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back, it is important for you to try building a friendship with him first. Be friends first before moving on to fixing your relationship.
This is the key to determining whether or not you really have changed. You can stay close to each other without seriously committing yet, which allows you to see whether your issues and resentments have already healed. Establishing a strong friendship first will help you identify whether it is worthwhile to give your romance another shot.
By considering all the factors mentioned here, you will be able to pinpoint the exact way on how to get your ex-boyfriend back when he broke up with you or even if you have lots of issues in the past.
The factors mentioned above are also helpful in determining whether both of you are already ready to give your relationship a fresh start.
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Tips
Now we have reached the juiciest part of this article, as it outlines some of the things that you can do to bring him back.
With the help of the how to get your ex-boyfriend back tips and solutions mentioned in this section, you can definitely encourage him to come back to you.
The tips here are also designed in such a way that your second chance at romance will have a higher likelihood of succeeding.
Find Out if it is Indeed the Right Decision
With the help of the factors indicated in the previous section of this article, you can decide whether it is worth it to pursue him again. To figure out whether it is the right decision to get him back, spend time reflecting on why you broke up.
Also, determine if there is a great chance for the same difficulties to cause problems in your future relationship. Pinpoint the exact cause of your break-up.
However, avoid putting the blame on him even if he actually did something wrong. It is because there are also things that you might have done that aggravated your issues before.
Determine how you contributed to the break-up, too, as such is the key to developing a more effective plan on winning him back and preventing the same issues from coming up.
Find Out Why You Want Him Back
You should be able to provide the exact reason for wanting to get him back. Your break-up is never easy, even if you realized that your relationships was not exactly the perfect fit in the first place.
That said, you need to reflect on your actual motives and reasons for wanting him back. Your reason should not just be because you are lonely or sad or because you are single. Also, missing him does not necessarily mean that you should immediately take the necessary action to get him back.
Note that you may overcome such feelings eventually. Your reason for wanting him back is because you genuinely love him and care for him. You should be able to see yourself having a bright future with him and committing to love him and stay with him no matter what.
Avoid encouraging him to be part of your life once again because of other trivial reasons because that might only cause you to be in an unhealthy relationship, which is still bound to fail the second time around.
Before you should do something to win the heart of your ex-boyfriend, you need to spend time and exert some effort towards improving yourself. Make sure that you build your confidence and self-esteem, too.
This is the reason why you need to avoid begging your ex to come back to you even if you have just been apart for a very short while. You need to view the time away from him as an opportunity to focus on and improve yourself.
Work on your confidence and start loving yourself. The higher your self-esteem and confidence are, the more you can say that you are fully prepared to have a long-lasting and healthy relationship with him.
What you can do to build up yourself and improve your confidence are the following:
- Seek help from professionals – If possible, visit a mental health professional, especially if you are someone who has anxiety issues and is prone to depression. Do not delay doing this tip. You may realize how effective talking to a professional is if you are trying to build up your confidence and self-esteem.
- Recognize your talents and strengths – Do not forget to remind yourself about these every day. Reminding yourself about all the things that you can do will make you realize how good and unique you actually are, which is beneficial if you want to boost your confidence. The time you spent away from your ex-boyfriend should also prompt you to start loving yourself by celebrating all the accomplishments you made, even the minor ones.
- Be in the company of your closest friends and loved ones – They will serve as your rock during your trying times, especially during the first few days/weeks after the break-up. Talk to them as much as possible. This is necessary if you find it too difficult to recognize your own merits and strengths. Be with them all the time and ask them occasionally to share to you your most positive qualities.
- Count your blessings – Break-ups are always hard, especially if you have been together with him for a long time already. With that in mind, make it a point to overcome by counting all your blessings. While things did not go the way you expected between you and your ex, there are still many things to be thankful for. Remind yourself of all the positive things that you have right now and be thankful for each one.
All the tips mentioned here are designed to improve yourself and confidence, which is a major help in healing from the break-up.
You can heal all the hurts and pains that your relationship caused, bringing out a better version of yourself. Once there is already an improved version of yourself, you can start assessing whether you are ready to make the move to win him back.
Your goal should be to become better than what your ex remembers you to be. Aside from boosting your confidence, you also have to improve your personality and physique. Make sure that you are hotter than before.
Make sure that once you meet again, he will find you as someone he fell in love with before – someone who is hard for any men to resist not only because of your looks but also because of your confidence and personality.
Forgive and Forget
If you want to have a fresh start, then ensure that you are willing to forgive him if he committed some mistakes in the past. Be willing to have a fresh start by leaving all your past issues behind.
Allow yourself to heal and forget about all the negative things that happened to you before. Note that you will have a hard time getting back together and attaining success when attempting to give romance a second chance if you do not truly forgive each other.
Since it is you who wants to exert some effort to get him back first, you have to initiate the forgiveness first. In this case, finding out the exact reason for your break-up is necessary.
Was it because one of you was unfaithful? Was it because of your diminishing respect and love for each other? Or could it be because you no longer find your relationship exciting?
Pinpoint the reason not because you want to think of your relationship negatively but because you want to open up your heart to heal and forget. Regardless of the reason, your goal is to think about whether you can start with a clean slate.
It is still important to discuss with him about the past issues so you can finally ask for each other’s forgiveness but after that, the two of you should think about starting all over again while leaving all your negative issues behind.
Click the reset button and ensure that you get over your issues. If you made a mistake, forgive yourself, too. Forgive, let go, and be willing to have a fresh start and build on having a better future ahead of you.
Avoid Dating Anyone Yet
Of course, after your break-up, you may want to date someone new so you can get over with him as quickly as possible. However, note that this will never help you to get your ex-boyfriend back if you have plans of doing so after some time.
Avoid dating a new guy just to make him feel jealous. Sure, you can still do it but consider doing it in a smart and intelligent way.
For instance, you can let him see that some other guys are already starting to mingle and be around you but avoid making him feel like you are seriously dating someone as he might misinterpret and think that you have already moved on.
Make your ex-boyfriend feel that you are still available and open to accept him emotionally. What you need right now is just time and space to heal after you decided to break up.
Give him a hint that you still want to be together after some time. With that, he will also think twice about seriously dating another girl and hope for another chance for the two of you, thereby boosting your chances of rekindling your relationship with him.
Avoid Contacting Him for a While
Even after your break-up, you may want to continue getting in touch, especially if you still have strong feelings for him but you should exert a lot of effort to avoid contacting him just yet.
Take a break from him and your relationship. Regardless of who initiated the break-up, it is important to set aside some time away from each other before you start to implement some techniques on how to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Keeping in touch with him even if you have not fully healed may just aggravate the situation and your issues.
Cut all means of communicating with him. Even if you are with your mutual friends, avoid asking or talking about him. Do this for at least thirty days from the time you have decided to end things.
During this period, avoid any form of contact. Make sure that you do not also get notifications from him on social media.
Avoid staying in those places if you think that he will be there. Such is the key in getting rid of your negative feelings, so when the time comes that you and your ex meet, you can start talking about your issues without your negative feelings ruining the way you communicate with each other.
Learn What to Do with Your Time While You’re Away From Him
You have to do certain things that will keep your mind off of him. That way, you won’t have to think too much about him, the pain that you are experiencing and your longing for him.
If you do not occupy your time with exciting activities, then you may end up breaking up the rule of cutting off your communication for at least thirty days. You may start having a difficult time stopping yourself from contacting him.
That said, here are some of the things that you can do during the time when you are apart. Make each activity as exciting as possible so you can manage to stop yourself from thinking too much about him, and worse, contacting him when it is not the right time yet.
- Reconnect with loved ones and friends – Your relationship with your ex might have caused you to become isolated with your loved ones. That holds true, especially if your relationship is serious. Your break-up will free a lot of your time, allowing you to have enough to reconnect with your loved ones and friends. Start spending more time with them. After all, you need a strong support system during your trying time. Renew your friendship and bond with your loved ones but make sure that you do not talk too much about your break-up. Avoid the topic as much as possible even if you are spending time with your mutual friends.
- Renew your hobbies – Are there things that you love to do? Are there certain hobbies and activities that you have always wanted to do but were unable to fulfill because of your commitment to your previous relationship? Then now is the right time to do them. Your break-up is also the perfect time for you to start enjoying your life, doing the things you love, and accomplishing all those things that make you happy and fulfilled.
- Focus on your career – Do you think that there are certain areas in your career where you are slacking off? Then now is the right time to do a bit of extra work. For instance, your love life might have caused you to spend less time and effort in the workplace or in your business. Now is the perfect time to boost your career and work on accomplishing your goals.
- Prevent depression – Your break-up can make you prone to depression but you have to work hard to avoid it as much as possible. Avoid doing things that can only trigger depression. Some examples are constantly talking about your break-up with the people you know, being in a dark room for long hours, and sleeping the entire day.
Avoid getting too depressed as this might only cause you to have a hard time bringing him back. Work on improving your personality, instead. While you can’t find a magic button, which is useful in getting rid of all your negative memories and thoughts, it is still possible for you to avoid thinking too much about them by surrounding yourself with happy people. Make sure that you do not feel alone during your most trying time.
By spending your time wisely after your break-up, you have a higher chance of fixing yourself, changing things for the better, and boosting your personality.
By doing that, you can present a stronger, better version of yourself, which your ex-boyfriend will have a hard time resisting once you meet again.
This is something that you should avoid doing if you really want him back. Maintain your dignity. After your break-up, there are really instances when you want to come running to him and beg him to be with you again.
However, take note that this won’t work, especially if your issues are still too fresh. Do not beg or behave too desperately as such might only cause your ex-boyfriend to feel sorry for you. Aside from that, begging and desperation might cause you to look unattractive to him.
Even if you were successful in getting him back by begging, there is still a great chance for it to fail after just some time. In addition, it might lead to resentment since you actually got back together for the wrong reasons.
Note that the way you reunite and rekindle your relationship contributes a lot in making it work. Have some time away from each other first.
When you think both of you are already ready, tell him that your relationship still has a chance but make sure to communicate this in a calm and mature manner. Do not act desperate when doing so.
Once you feel like some time has already passed, making the two of you ready to contact each other once again, initiate it.
Start communicating with him once again. You can begin by casually asking him if he wants to spend time with you and do something as friends, such as playing your favorite sport, hanging out in the mall, watching a movie, having a drink, or being a part of a sporting event.
Make sure, however, that you act as a friend during these casual activities. Avoid acting like a girlfriend, especially because it is important to establish friendship during this time first.
Avoid using this opportunity to beg him to start over. Just spend quality time with him, focus on establishing a strong friendship, and ensure that he also enjoyed the time he spent with you.
Another tip is to avoid talking about your failed relationship during your first meet-up after a long time. Talk about it only after you have already spent quality time together as friends.
Use this as an opportunity to leave a good impression, not as a girlfriend, but as a good friend to him.
Show Him That You Are That Person He Has Fallen in Love with Before
Once you start spending time together as friends, make it a point to show him that you are that woman he fell in love with before.
Your goal should be to provide him with a lot of reasons to remember all your positive qualities – the specific things and traits he loved about you when you were still together. Emphasize the specific qualities he loved about you, such as your empathy or sense of humor.
Show a happy and positive vibe when you are with him. During this time, you can start dropping subtle hints that you still like him and want to rekindle your relationship.
You can tell him how much you love hanging out with him, for instance, or the fact that you missed those times when you are hanging out.
It is also possible for you to make him remember about your good memories when you were still together before. That is possible even if you do not talk directly about your previous relationship.
For instance, if you remembered that he complimented you once when you were wearing a specific outfit, then make it a point to wear it again once you start to hang out.
You also have the option to share a fun memory. Such can help the two of you to establish a connection once again.
Discuss Things Openly
If you have already spent some time together as friends, then you can start having an open discussion. Do this at the time when you have already shown him the newer and more improved version of yourself.
Be willing to have an honest conversation with your ex-boyfriend and if possible, let him know about your lingering feelings for him. Make sure to ask him if he is still interested in you, though, before starting to gush about your desire to rekindle your relationship. If he says no, then I think it is really time to move on.
Do not cry nor beg during your open discussion. Avoid turning the conversation into an argument, too. Your goal should be to show him how much you have healed and that you are willing to start all over again with a clean slate if he also wants the same.
Make it a point to do your discussion in a peaceful and quiet place – one where no one and nothing can interrupt the two of you. Also, you have to set realistic expectations. Avoid forcing him to come back to you.
If you want to have a fresh start, then saying sorry for the things that you have done that contributed to the failed relationship is necessary. Admit your mistakes and your contributions to the break-up. You can’t actually put all the blame on him.
The good thing about telling him you are sorry is that it also serves as the key to gaining back his respect. Your decision to give him a sincere apology is also a big help in saving your relationship and making it as healthy and successful as possible this time.
Commit to Building a Better and Healthy Relationship
If you are successful in your move to take him back, then make sure that both of you have the commitment to make your relationship work this time around. Make sure that it is not manipulative nor abusive.
It should not be toxic, too. Your goal should be to have a better and healthy relationship that will work for the long term. Commit to taking steps that will prevent the two you from committing the mistakes you made in the past.
Also, ensure that you agree about not bringing up the same issues and problems that triggered your break-up and the failure of your relationship in the past. Work on ensuring that your previous issues will never interfere your new relationship.
If possible and when both of you are ready, talk openly about the conflicts that you experienced in the past then create a plan so you can deal with them more appropriately in the future. If necessary, try couple’s counseling to enhance your relationship skills and your ability to handle conflicts.
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back with “The Ex Factor Guide”?
Are you still lost on the sea of ideas on how to get your ex-boyfriend back fast? Then let the Ex Factor Guide help you even further. The guide is the ultimate solution for women out there who really want to give their relationship a try. You can read our review of this guide here.
With the information provided by this guide, it is easy for women to find solutions on how they can encourage their ex-boyfriend to rekindle their romance.
The tips and tricks for getting ex-boyfriend back introduced by The Ex Factor Guide really work for women. It explains some of the common mistakes of couples that often lead to break-up and how they can fix it.
You will also receive a comprehensive guide on how you can approach him and communicate your plan to get back to him. The guide will also let you gather information on some signs that will help you determine whether it is the perfect time to approach him.
Furthermore, you will know whether or not the relationship is worth giving another shot or if there is still enough attraction that will encourage the two of you to rekindle the fire and passion.
Even if your ex-boyfriend is already dating someone new, you still have a higher chance of winning him back if you follow all the tips mentioned in The Ex Factor Guide and pair them up with the things you learned from this article. I hope you've learned how to get your ex-boyfriend back so you can get in a relationship with him again.