How to get your ex-girlfriend back? Getting back with your ex-girlfriend is not that easy. You may have known that fact by now, especially if you have already exerted some effort to win her back only to get ignored. The whole process becomes even more difficult if she has already moved on, or worse, she’s already with another guy.
While it is quite challenging to figure out exactly how to get your ex-girlfriend back, note that it is actually possible. There are plenty of solutions out there that will help you win her back and let your love bloom once again. However, before making your move towards her, it is important to ask yourself first whether it is really what you want.
You don’t want to make the mistake of rekindling your relationship with her only to end up having to break both your hearts again when everything fails, do you? Ask yourself if bringing her back to your life is what you really want. If you are still unsure, then spend time assessing your own self and reflecting back on the relationship that you once had.
- Table of Contents:
- Questions to Ask Yourself
- Signs That She Also Wants You Back
- Some Important Factors to Consider
- Length of Your Time Together
- The Way Your Relationship Ended
- Present Status
- Emotional Readiness
- Steps, Tips and Tricks on Getting your Ex-Girlfriend Back
- Assess the Break-up
- Have Some Alone Time
- Take Action
- The Ex-Factor Guide
Please visit this article if you want to learn how to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Prior to making your move to discover how to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you have to ask yourself the following questions first. Depending on your answers, you will know exactly if getting back together is really the right thing to do for the both of you:
- Why did you break up? – Couples break up for a number of reasons, including affair, emotional or physical abuse, falling out of love, or the inability to feel the same attraction that they once felt before. Note that there are actually no wrong or correct reasons for a breakup. What couples need to do when they are on the rocks is to weigh what works for them separately.
Remember that one thing that you can no longer stomach may actually be very tolerable for another. That said, you have to reflect on your past relationship and ask yourself what’s the exact reason for your breakup. Dig deeper. Once you figured out the reason, it is time to assess whether it is something that you can live with, tolerate, or forgive.
It is because you can’t get a hundred percent guarantee that such issue will never happen again. If you think that you still want to get her back and be able to tolerate the issue you once had, then maybe it is alright to give it a go.
- Is there an exact reason why you want to rekindle your relationship with her? – Find out what your reasons are exactly for wanting to win her back. Is it because of some sort of pressure from her or the ones around you? Is it because of your family or your kids if you have any? You really have to reflect on this issue. Note that this should be your decision alone, not anyone else.
The best reason to get back together is if you still love her and if you realize that there is still a great future ahead of you. Love should be the deciding factor. It should not just be because you’re worried that you will be earning just a single income nor because of your loneliness.
To further help you when you are doing this reflection, find out whether or not you will be willing to rekindle your relationship with her if all the other areas of your life are doing fabulously great. If you don’t see yourself being with her when you have a beautiful life, then maybe what you want is not exactly her but only a romantic relationship even if it does not go smoothly.
- Have you really healed? – If it has been a long time since the two of you were together, then there is a great chance that you have already healed. After all, it has been said that time can heal all wounds. The time you spent apart may have done the two of you a lot of good, especially if you did some soul searching. There is also a great chance that the two of you have matured after the time you spent away from each other.
In this case, you have to find out whether you have already healed. Is there no risk that your past hurts will return if you get back with her? Can you promise not to bring back the same issue once again and allow the two of you to have a fresh start?
Are you sure that you have already forgotten everything – the things you fought about, your issues, etc.? Find out whether you’re willing to restart your relationship with a clean slate. If yes, then getting back together may be the wisest decision for the both of you.
- Are you and your ex on the same page now? – This does not necessarily mean that you and your ex have become really the same because no matter what you do, there will always be differences between two people. What you have to ask yourself is whether or not both parties are already willing to make a few changes and compromise so you can be in the same direction.
Your relationship might have come to an end before because the things that you want are actually totally different. For instance, one of you wants to have kids while the other does not. However, when the time comes that the two of you already want the same, then maybe getting her back is a wise move.
If you notice that both of you want similar things now, then maybe luck and timing are already on your side, so maybe it is worthwhile to give your relationship another shot.
- Do you believe in second chances? – You have to find out whether or not you truly believe in second chances. Do you really think that getting back with her is the best thing that you can do and are both parties willing to work things out? Note that there is no set rule stating that second chances are not applicable in relationships.
It is still your call whether giving your relationship a second chance is a good choice. Your relationship may have ended because of a mistake you or she has committed. Find out if the two of you have already learned from the mistake. Make sure that both parties are also willing to forgive and have a good future ahead. If you realize that both are willing to work on the relationship and give it another shot, then maybe it is worth it.
You will also know that getting back together is the best move for you if you realize that both of you will be miserable without each other. You still love her and she still loves you. If you and your ex-girlfriend still have lingering feelings for each other and can’t seem to move on because of your love, then it would be best to give your relationship a second chance.
Signs That She Also Wants You Back
No one wants to exert wasted effort, right? With that in mind, you have to know whether your ex-girlfriend also feels the same when it comes to rekindling your relationship before you start finding ways on how to get back with your ex-girlfriend. Find out if she is still willing to work things out.
Here are just some of the signs that your ex-girlfriend also wants to save your relationship, giving you some sort of assurance that you have a chance of bringing her back into your life:
- She still messages or calls you from time to time.
- She still likes your pictures or posts on your social media accounts.
- She responds to you when you communicate with her.
- She still talks about your good memories whenever you get the chance to talk to her.
- She asks you whether you’re okay or if you’re already dating anyone from time to time.
- She talks about the reasons for your break-up.
- She tends to be secretive about her dating life.
If she shows any of the mentioned signs, then there is a great chance that she is still not over your relationship, giving you a huge chance of winning her back if you pursue her again.
Some Important Factors to Consider
Before moving on to the actual steps, tricks, and tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast, it is important for you to consider some vital factors that might have a positive or negative impact on your relationship.
Consider the following factors before you start making your move of pursuing her or giving her a hint that you want her back as such will help you determine whether there are indeed legit reasons to fix your relationship:
When it comes to a romantic relationship, timing plays a huge role in making it work. Maybe, your relationship did not work before because the timing was not right. It could be because one of you was still on the stage of hitting personal growth milestones. It could also be because you or she was still trying to transition in terms of career or location. There is also a chance that one of you is still not ready to take the relationship into the next level.
Find out if the timing is already right this time. Do you feel like both of you can already devote time, heart, and energy to make the relationship work? If yes, then your relationship is definitely worth the second chance. Just make sure that the feelings of love are still there.
Your priorities before might be the reason for your break-up. It could be that your relationship suffered a toll because your priorities were imbalanced. It should be noted that while there are needs, there are also wants.
In terms of romantic relationships, there is a chance that you confused your want – someone who is fun and has lots of money – with your needs – someone who is nurturing, loving, understanding, and supportive financially and emotionally.
You have to bring back the balance in your priorities first before you can make the tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend to want you back work on your favor. If you realized that your present state of mind already evolved and that your ex starts to make you feel happy, then it may be wise to rekindle the relationship as this is the time when you are already mature enough to balance and know your priorities.
Length of Your Time Together
Another factor you have to consider before taking a move to get back with your ex-girlfriend is the length of time you spent together with her. How long did your relationship last? In most cases, if you had a long-term relationship, then there is a higher chance that you can still fix things and rekindle the love and passion.
It is because for relationships to reach that long, a real and emotional connection is necessary, and that might be present in your relationship if it took a long time before it finally ended. However, this does not necessarily mean that just because your relationship with her is short, you no longer have a chance to bring her back to your life. It is still possible provided the two of you established a deep emotional connection no matter how short your relationship lasted.
The Way Your Relationship Ended
How you ended your relationship also plays a crucial factor on whether or not there is still a hope to bring back the love you once shared. Did the relationship end because one party broke the other’s heart? Or did it just happen naturally? If the whole process happened amicably and naturally, then you still have a higher chance of getting her back.
Find out whether your relationship ended on bad or good terms. If you’re in bad terms, then you may need to exert more effort to show her that you are indeed willing to change and work on your relationship without bringing back the past hurts and issues. Also, it is important to spend time analyzing your feelings for each other when your relationship ended.
Is it disgust, hatred or contempt? If yes, then rekindling the relationship may be much more difficult. However, if you parted on good terms in the sense that you still have respect for each other, then you have a bigger chance of making your relationship work once again.
Of course, you also need to find out if the two of you are still single. If yes, then she might still be open to accept the thought of being in a relationship with you once again. A problem might exist if anyone of you is already in a serious relationship. While you can still find solutions on how to get your ex-girlfriend back from another guy, you may realize that it is a bit harder than what you initially thought.
Find out if she has truly moved on or if the relationship that she currently has is a rebound one. If she’s in a rebound relationship, then it is still possible for you to win her back. Just exert an effort and prove to her that you really love her and still want her to be part of your life.
Make sure that you also consider your emotional readiness. Are you ready to commit and make her a part of you once again? Is she ready, too? If she’s not ready yet, then you can’t force her to accept the relationship once again.
Wait for the right time. Ensure that both of you are emotionally ready to commit to each other once again and forget your past issues and conflicts. Both of you should be emotionally ready to accept one another again, too.
Another factor that might hamper your decision to get her back is the level of maturity that the two of you demonstrate. Is your ex-girlfriend still the same? Or did she grow up like you, too? Did both of you make all the necessary changes to improve yourselves so when the time comes that you get back together, you can already make it work?
The secret here is to assess the specific reasons why your relationship did not work out in the past. Find out if it is any different this time. If no one changed and worked on improving himself/herself, then there is a chance that your relationship will fail once again. With that in mind, you have to make sure that you are both mature enough before rekindling the relationship.
Aside from the factors already mentioned, it is also important to determine how natural it feels when you are together. At the end of the day, your natural feelings for each other still serve as the determining factor whether or not your relationship will work this time around. Assess whether being with her feels natural, right, and effortless. If it is, then there is a high likelihood that your relationship, when given a second chance, will bloom once again.
Steps, Tips and Tricks on Getting your Ex-Girlfriend Back
Now that you have gathered information about the different signs, factors, questions, and other points that will help you decide whether or not getting back with your ex-girlfriend is the right thing to do and what you can do about it, it is time to understand the actual steps, tips, and tricks.
The steps and tricks mentioned here are proven to be really effective, so these will definitely work even if you are still figuring out how to get your ex-girlfriend back when she has moved on.
Assess the Break-up
The first thing that you have to do before you ever take a move on how to get your ex-girlfriend back is to assess the break-up thoroughly. This is not the time to blame anyone. You have to figure out what each of you contributed to the break-up.
Note that most issues in a relationship do not just come up unexpectedly. They actually build up overtime. There is a chance that the problem is not just one-sided. Both of you played a role in the break-up. In fact, you will realize that there were actually signs that showed up before that the break-up was imminent.
Before you approach your ex-girlfriend and convince her to go back to you, spend time doing some soul searching. This is important in ensuring that you won’t waste your energy and time on a relationship that will still fail.
In most cases, couples break up because they fail to communicate properly with each other. If you had an unhappy relationship, then commit to preventing the same problem again by setting clear expectations.
It is also important to discuss frustrations openly so these won’t end up exploding into a huge fight. While there are certain relationship issues that are extremely difficult to overcome, such as jealousy, immaturity, infidelity, etc., it is still possible to fix them through proper counselling. Make sure that both of you are willing to avoid the issues you had before so you’ll have a smooth-sailing relationship this time.
When assessing your break-up, you also need to do the following:
- Recall who between you initiated the break-up – If it was you, then assess whether you did it after carefully thinking about it or just because you are overwhelmed with anger. If it was your ex-girlfriend, recall if she had specific reasons why she initiated it. The same goes if the break-up was a mutual decision. Dig deeper why the two of you decided to break up in the first place.
Before making a move to make your ex-girlfriend a part of your life once again, it is important to gain a full understanding about who controlled the actual break-up. You also need to determine the exact reason why it took place. If you were the one who decided to break up, leaving your ex-girlfriend totally against it, then rekindling the relationship may be much easier.
However, if it was her who initiated it, then be ready to face a bit of a challenge when trying to pursue her again.
- Examine your own emotions – Your break-up might leave you feeling hurt and confused. The problem is that this may result in misinterpreting your hurt and lonely feeling, making you think that you can’t live as happily as you hoped for without her. Actually, most of those who went through a break-up feel remorse at first due to the lost relationship. Such feelings might also be paired up with other negative emotions, like loneliness, depression, guilt, and anxiety.
In most cases, being in a serious relationship may also cause more severe negative feelings and emotions once the break-up takes place. Those who are co-habiting or got married tend to have the most painful and troublesome break-ups while those who just dated casually will most likely find it easy to move on. However, your severe feelings should not automatically be the sole reason for you to try bringing her back to your life.
To ensure that you are doing the right thing of winning her back, ask yourself if it is really your ex-girlfriend whom you miss or is it just the feeling of having a girlfriend. Do you think that she’s the only one for you – the only girl who can make you feel good about yourself and be happier and more secure? Can you imagine a bright future with her?
If what you are only missing is the feeling of security that having someone by your side offers as well as the excitement of being in a romantic relationship, then your reason for getting her back is not that sensible.
It is because you can also experience such security and excitement with someone else. There is even a possibility that you will experience those feelings while having a more stable and healthier relationship than before with another girl.
That said, you really need to examine your own emotions before making the final decision of winning your ex-girlfriend. Find out if you truly love her and if your happiness will only become genuine if she is with you.
Also, take note that a lot of rekindled relationships deal with lack of trust, causing them to experience repeated break-ups. With that in mind, avoid making your move if you are not a hundred percent sure yet if that is really what you want.
Have Some Alone Time
Before you approach your ex-girlfriend and convince her to give your relationship a second chance, make sure that you have already spent time alone. Alone time is crucial during your break-up. Ensure that you have already focused on improving yourself and you are now really ready to make the relationship work. For this step to work, consider doing the following tips:
- Do not contact her, especially during the first month of your break-up – Your ex-girlfriend will contact you, believe me, but that is if she wants to talk to you. If she does not contact you, then spend the first month of your break-up to focus on yourself. Avoid contacting her when the break-up is still fresh. The good news is that there are instances when ignoring her can make her feel like you’re doing perfectly fine without her and that you are on the stage of moving on. If she is not yet over you, then this might cause her to miss you more.
Aside from being effective in making her miss your presence in her life, not contacting her within the first month of your break-up will also give you enough time to focus on yourself and do the things you have longed to do. Such will also prepare you in building a relationship with her once again on a clean slate. The time when you don’t communicate serves as the perfect opportunity for you to know yourself even better.
That way, you will know exactly which areas about yourself you need to improve so you will become a better man for her. If it was you who caused the relationship to fail, then the time away from her will also help you determine your weaknesses. With that, you can improve yourself and introduce a better and more committed man to her.
The time off also serves as an effective way to figure out whether what you are feeling after the break-up is just a normal grief or a genuine desire to bring her back to your life. Remember that everyone experiences sadness after breaking up. If you spend time alone without contacting her, then you can sort out your feelings and determine if getting her back is indeed the right thing to do.
- Prioritize yourself – This is the perfect time to prioritize yourself. Start hanging out with your friends once again. Focus on your career or do some extra-curricular activities, particularly those that you have been longing to do. Never appear too needy. Make your ex miss you more and do the things that you have once only dreamed of doing. This is the key to regaining back your self-worth and sense of self, allowing you to recover fast and find out whether you still really love her.
- Make sure that she is still interested – Prior to starting to exert an effort to win back her heart, determine if she still wants to be with you. Make sure that she still loves you or still cares about you before exerting an effort. Knowing that she still cares is an essential clue that will help you identify whether you can still mend your relationship.
While it is not advisable to find out if she is still interested right after your break-up nor instruct your friends to investigate about it, you can still start looking for subtle hints. As mentioned earlier, avoid pursuing her for a minimum of one month after breaking up.
However, you should try looking for subtle signs that she still wants to be with you when you accidentally meet her at work or school. You can also look for signs based on her posts and comments on her social media accounts.
After the one month of zero contact, which is also the time you used to improve and focus on yourself, then maybe it is the right time to take action. If you realized that getting back with her is the best thing that you can do because you still love her and you realized that she still feels the same, then the following tips will definitely increase your chances of winning back her heart:
- Be that man your ex-girlfriend fell in love with – Think about the first time when both of you got together. What are the things about you that she specifically likes? Is it your sense of humor or sense of style? No matter what it is, bring back the love and passion in your relationship by letting your ex-girlfriend see the man that he fell in love with before.
Remember that she was attracted to you due to the great feelings she experiences when she is with you. She loved you back then because you fulfilled her emotional needs. Did you change when you were finally together before? If yes, then it’s time to correct your mistakes and bad habits, if there are any.
Show her that you are willing to be the man she once loved. Show your positivity once you start seeing her again. Doing that is the key to attracting her to you once again.
- Work on improving your physical appearance – Before you start inviting her to a date again, make sure that you already shopped for new pieces of clothing. You should change your hairstyle, too, or improve your physique by hitting the gym. Make yourself look attractive for her once again. Ensure that you stand out and look fresh when the two of you get the chance to meet after a while.
However, it is not advisable to change who you are totally just to win her back. What you have to do, instead, is just to present the best version of yourself. She was attracted to you before so have faith that you can do it again by exerting an effort to improve your physical appearance.
- Hang out with her casually – This tip may involve having a drink or playing a sport with your common friends (of course, with her around, too). It should be casual – something that usually happens when hanging out with friends or having your first dates. No matter what you decide to do, make sure that it remains fun. Avoid serious talks about your past relationships and issues, yet.
Remember that for a romantic relationship to work, even if it’s a rekindled one, it needs to have a strong foundation – that is, friendship. With that in mind, work on building an intact friendship first prior to moving into the romance territory. You can then recreate the experience that you once had when you were in love by slowly integrating intimacy in your friendship.
You can do it with eye contact or by answering or raising personal questions. That could be a huge help in building an intimate bond and developing attraction. If done correctly, such can help bring back the love that you two once felt. Look into her eyes deeply and start asking her personal and deep questions. Find out if such works in moving your casual friendship into an intimate relationship.
- Talk to her – Now that you are hanging out casually and are building a strong foundation of friendship, then it is time to invite her for a talk. Do this after you spent time together as friends, so you can finally talk about your issues in the past freely and without any anger and resentment. Discuss your history honestly. Also, talk about whether there is a nice romantic future waiting for the two of you.
However, make it a point to do this intimate talk in person. Avoid doing it over the phone, through text or online chat. What you should do, instead, is to invite her to have dinner with you. If possible, do it in your favorite restaurant or coffee shop to increase your chances of rekindling the feelings.
- Use the things she liked about you before to your advantage – For instance, if she likes a particular outfit, then consider wearing it again when you are meeting her. You can also talk about a fun and light-hearted memory you once shared. Have dinner or visit a place that both of you are familiar with since you hang out there before most of the time.
If you still have any of the items that she gave you as gifts before, such as a jewelry, then make it a point to wear it when you’re planning to meet up. Such will send a clear signal that you are still not over her and you want her to be back in your life.
- Say the right words – During your deep talk, your first words will play a major role whether or not you’ll still have a chance to get back together. Saying the wrong and inappropriate words might cause you to lose your chance of winning her back. Keep in mind that even if you are no longer together, it is still possible for her to harbour strong and negative feelings for you, so be very careful in the words you use once you decide to talk.
Approach your conversation correctly. The best way to do it is to tell her how much you wanted to talk to her before and how much you regretted that your relationship failed. After that, you can start asking her if she is willing to talk about rekindling the relationship now that you already gained a new and mature perspective about you and her.
Allow your conversation to progress naturally. Avoid making her feel that you are forcing her to go back to you. However, make sure that you also observe her and look for subtle hints that she still has feelings for you. If there is, then maybe it is the right time to bring up slowly the topic of giving the two of you another try.
The Ex-Factor Guide
The Ex Factor Guide (check out our review here) also serves as your ultimate solution if you want to get your ex-girlfriend back. It is a more extensive guide towards transforming yourself and being the exact same man your ex-girlfriend fell in love with, thereby making it easier for you to convince her that your relationship is still worth another shot.
This guide is unique from the other relationship solutions out there as it allows you to gain access to effective step-by-step actionable hacks and tips that will help you start your game plan right away.
The Ex-Factor Guide even contains the specific mistakes that you should avoid doing if you want to boost your chances of making your ex-girlfriend come back. By strictly following all the information gathered in the Ex-Factor Guide, you will gain a positive response from her, which is a big help in improving your confidence significantly.
Even the small steps mentioned here are enough to make you successful in your attempt to win her heart again. Following the suggestions and steps in the guide will also let you see your desired results in as little time as possible. Since timing is important in winning her back, you can also use the Ex Factor Guide in figuring out the perfect time to approach her.
That way, you’ll never try to reach out to her too soon nor waste your chance of getting her back just because you do it too late. It tackles perfect timing when it comes to rekindling your relationship, making it really worth investing your time and money in.
Aside from the many tips already mentioned in this book, it is also crucial for you to apologize. Do a deep reflection and analysis on your contribution to the failed relationship before you meet up with her for the serious and deep talk. Avoid blaming her.
It’s the right time to take full responsibility of your mistakes and your contributions to why your relationship did not work out. This will show her that you have already matured, and that you are really serious about committing yourself to her once again. By doing the tips mentioned here correctly, getting back with your ex and rekindling your old feelings is definitely possible.
If you still want to gather more information about how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if she has already moved on or with someone else, check out the Ex Factor Guide. It has most of the information you need to convince your ex-girlfriend that you are meant for each other and your relationship is worth giving another shot. Paired with the tips mentioned in this article, you’ll surely be successful in your attempt to winning your ex-girlfriend’s heart.