Every relationship has its highs and lows. Sometimes the highs are overwhelming just as much as the lows, and well, many a time, the lows are as difficult to cope with like any other challenge. Ultimately, these two elements should enable couples to find balance on communication and boundaries in order to establish a healthy relationship. So, if you’re wondering, “I cheated on my husband, how do I get him back?” you’re in the right place.
However, it is easy to overlook a number of other factors which play a key role, thereby creating a misunderstanding. One of the many causes of breakups in relationships is cheating. No sugar coating here, but it’s probably the worst reason to break up with your partner. Most people see themselves as victims and think that once a cheater, always a cheater.
When the telltale signs of a relationship in distress manifest themselves, couples often resolve to ‘take a break’ or ‘give each other space’. The main goal here is usually to take some time apart and figure out what is best for both partners.
Is it right to work things out at this point or is it futile effort to give it a second shot? If the relationship comes to an end, heartbreak takes its toll and develops feelings of rejection and failure. But what if things work out? Can a relationship really be saved? Can one get back with their ex, and if so, how?
The good news is, yes. A relationship can be saved. You can get back with your ex and even have a stronger connection than before. A common line among married women is “I cheated on my husband how do I get him back?” Usually, people who have been cheated on think that they were never good enough and that there are no mutual feelings between the couple.
Table of Contents
Step 1: Self-Awareness and Self-Reflection
So, I cheated and I want him back (or her). How do you deal with such a conundrum? Self-awareness is an essential aspect of the prosperity of any relationship. It means that you are conscious of your feelings and character in every situation and environment. Focusing on yourself can make a fundamental impact on your relationship.
Not only will it enable you to get a different perspective of things but also create mutual understanding. Most importantly, it will give you time to reflect on your actions. It will give you a clearer view of things like why you cheated and how much you hurt your partner. If you are lacking in self-awareness, chances are your relationship is a ticking time bomb.
Addressing your reasons is an equally important step. Was the relationship boring? If this is the case, be certain that you still want in on the relationship. Were you caught up in the moment? This happens when say, you are mad with your partner, drunk, or maybe just saw an attractive guy and thought you might give it a shot. Whatever the reason, reading into why you did it can help you establish your husband back or you want to have some fun elsewhere. are willing to work and fix your relationship because you don’t want to hurt your man all over again.
Did problems in the relationship make you cheat? This is a common one among women. As a matter of fact, most women who have cheated on their husbands blame it on problems such as not feeling a connection, missing him, anger or just intolerance.
Importance of self-awareness
It may seem aggravating to start focusing on yourself from time to time. This may be mainly because it draws you to your flaws, even as you try improving them. However, self-awareness can help you accomplish several milestones. These include:
The beautiful thing about knowing yourself is that once you recognize your flaws, you can build on them and be a bigger person. You will need to invest your time and effort to converse with your beloved and learn to apologize when you’re in the wrong.
Eventually, you will find that issues you perceived as over you will just be a minor setback that you can conquer with no sweat. Eventually, you will get to the root of how to win her back after cheating.
2. Decision Making
After giving yourself the time, love and understanding that you need, you will find that making decisions in your love life will be easier than before. With this knowledge, you can establish if there are differences that need to come to your attention such as objectives in the relationship. Primarily, self-awareness can help cultivate patience, which is an equally important factor in relationships.
As mentioned earlier, patience is just one of the qualities needed to find out how to win a girl back after you hurt her. Patience build tolerance and acceptance. Most importantly, it gives your partner a chance to express themselves and respect where they are coming from. No feelings will be withheld and they will feel more comfortable approaching you whenever a situation arises.
Step 2: Coming Clean
Owning up to your mistakes is almost as intimidating as it sounds. You ought to come clean to your partner and tell him the backstory, tears and all. Honesty will be essential as it will give your partner some closure and a view on what came to be. He is likely to ask a lot of questions which you must meet with clear answers.
In addition, you have to be transparent throughout the relationship, lack of which may build distrust and a lot of misunderstandings. Although seeing how much your partner is hurting is painful, it is the only way to air out the situation and see how you can move forward.
He needs the assurance that you aren’t holding back any secrets and knowing that you are apologetic for what happened. Reflect on the pain he feels and how that makes you feel. This will be an unrelenting reminder of not cheating on him again as you remember all the pain you’d put him through.
Thus coming clean is crucial. If the affair is eventually revealed, the complete, absolute truth has to be told. Of course, it doesn't have to be at a go or at one sitting. The situation can be addressed slowly over time as you both take time to assess how things are going. Don't show disinterest when answering or leading them to assume whatever they want. If lies are told at any point, the journey to forgiveness will be more difficult than you'd expect.
Step 3: Apologize
Apologizing is an important step, no matter how cliché it sounds. Apologize a million times over. A simple, sincere apology can take you a long way. It isn’t just a societal rule, but also an important way of showing empathy and respect for the wronged party.
Although an apology won’t undo past actions, it has the powerful ability to counter the fatalistic impacts of said actions. The devastating effects of the guilt and shame felt when cheating occurs can affect both parties until emotional and physical trauma start. In addition, apologizing develops a deep sense of self-respect for ourselves and our partners.
Having been the one who cheated, you have to give your spouse time to accept your apology. It may seem futile at first, but it gives your partner a chance to see if he can rethink things through or establish whether your pride or ego comes before what you had. No doubt he will take longer to recover but rest assured your apologies meant more than silence.
Moreover, keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. Apart from apologizing, you will also have to prove that you actually are. How you act, your emotional availability, body language, and future actions will have a crucial say in whether love can be rekindled again.
Step 4: Time and Space
Giving your partner time and space to heal may prove to be the hardest step. You may feel the urge to be around your partner to constantly assure them that you were sorry, you never meant to do it or maybe to stop the pain. All these notwithstanding, he will still need time and space for him to recollect himself and give his heart some healing.
Most likely, his anger will drive him away from you and this may mean you have to bear with lack of communication for a while. Though you are bound to overthink and torture yourself with all the guilt-tripping, it is better, on the other hand, to strategize on how you can win back his trust.
After say, two weeks or so, you should both sit down and talk things through. You should also have a realistic plan and decide where the relationship will go from there. Do keep in mind that your spouse has the right to be mad and his trust issues are rightfully justified.
Dealing with cheating is never easy. It not only creates distrust but also emotional, physical and physiological damage. However, when you take the initiative to address the problem and get a different perspective of things, a middle ground can be created for both parties to come to an understanding.
At this point, the age-old question of, “I cheated on my husband, how do I get him back?” can be answered. If for some reason you still need some more help I advice you to get this guide, it's not for everybody but it might work for you.