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Why is He Not Talking To Me?
If you and your ex-boyfriend broke it off, and despite promises of staying friends even if you’re no longer dating, why won't he talk to me anymore? It usually boils down to a couple of reasons, so you need to dig into them and figure out which one reflects your situation the best.
Most times, assuming the man you’re talking to was reasonable and mature, people won’t just cut off all kinds of communication because they can. There is usually a solid driver behind the decision.
Additionally, it works both ways – the reasons for cutting off communication are more often than not the same in guys as in women. So if you want to get your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend back, you need to first figure out how to make first contact. Essentially, you need to break the no contact rule after breakup to get him back.
For that reason, here are the most common causes for the ol’ “ex won't talk to me” syndrome.
You’ve Been Texting and/or Calling Nonstop
This is by far the most common reason a guy will stop talking to his girlfriend. Street lingo refers to it as harassment, and believe it or not, no person – male or female – likes to be harassed. It’s understandable that you got hurt by the breakup, but blowing up someone's phone is a terribly poor and unhealthy way to deal with your predicament.
Maybe you believe that trying over and over will get him to talk to you eventually, but of all the things you can try, that’s probably the worst of how to get him to talk to you again. It reeks of desperation – and desperation is one of the greatest turn-offs ever.
He Actually Decided to Stick to The No-Contact Rule
Maybe he has decided that the best thing for him, personally, would be to follow the rules of a breakup and doesn’t want to talk to you. If that’s the case, there’s really no way around it rather than waiting until he feels it’s time to start talking to you again.
Remember, if you try too hard, you’re going down the same road as the truly desperate. Respect is an important part of not only relationships but everyday human interactions. Boundaries are the primary dividers between us and the rest of the world. If broken, trust will degrade to the point where it can never be recovered.
In which case, will my ex ever talk to me again? Probably. Most people just want to be left alone during times like these. It may be a bit difficult to understand why at first, but think of what you need when you’re shoving everyone away. Even if you manage to talk to him and he says no, all that’s really left to do is accept the decision. Once he has decided to let down his walls, you will need to figure out what to say to ex-boyfriend after no contact.
He Is in a New Relationship
This is the least likely situation of them all, assuming the two of you had broken not so long ago. And if it is, you probably need to reevaluate your position. If he left you for another girl, then he’s not worth the effort. Let it go. Find a way to cope with the situation. There is literally nothing you can do that will not make you look like the desperate ex-girlfriend.
How to get my ex-boyfriend back when he's ignoring me in such a situation? If you’re up to it and have given yourself a significant amount of time to adjust to the new facts in your life, you have a few options.
Patient people can just wait everything out because chances are not so small it might be a rebound and will end soon. On the other hand, you can always move on yourself and find happiness elsewhere. It may no longer be about how to get him to talk to you anymore. It will be more of how to get you in top shape of mind.
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend to Speak to You Again?
Getting him to speak to you is as simple as stopping all the negative influences first and letting him have his peace. Once a significant amount of time has passed, you can start to make some form of contact at last.
Any kind of reaction on his end, so long as it’s not one of anger, is a good sign. It may be a sign he either still feels like the two of you could get back together, too and reconcile your differences or has come to terms with everything that has happened and found some sort of coping mechanism. If you are concerned how to handle this, you can have a look at this guide which might be able to help you.
Will My Ex-Boyfriend Ever Contact Me Again?
It really depends on how he feels currently, what kind of relationship the two of you had, the kind of breakup that resulted, what caused it and how the two of you have been handling it. If he doesn’t contact you, you’re always free to be the one to make contact first.
The most convenient way to talk to your ex-boyfriend is obviously via text. Every phone since forever supports it and he is definitely going to receive your message. The trick here is to formulate a message that acts as an icebreaker while still retaining the integrity of your intentions. Even if it feels like he’s never talking to you again, a single, well-thought-out message can change the dynamic of the whole situation.
Examples of messages that definitely won’t work include one-liners like “hey” or “I called you ten times yesterday but you didn’t pick up, why don’t you call me back?” They are all either boring, lack intention or are just needy as hell. To get around the obvious barriers, you need to either arouse their curiosity with a message like, “I have to confess something” or “I know we haven’t chatted for a while, but I just wanted to check up on you and see how you’re doing.”
Notice how the pattern revolves around making him the subject of the message rather than making yourself seem needy and/or desperate. You don’t have to use the exact same messages.
There’s an off chance the two of you had inside jokes or allusions that only you could understand. You score bonus points if you’re able to integrate one of these into the initial greeting lines. It brings up the feeling of a mutual bond that used to exist and perhaps still does. It’s the first step of getting you off that “my ex won't talk to me” boat.
What Happens When He Texts Back?
If you play your cards right, you will definitely get a text back. At this point, the ball is in your court. You are free to do as you wish. Handle this step with a personal touch – which will be further dictated by your motivation for texting him. For instance, if you wanted to show you had changed, don’t just throw those “I promise I’ve changed, please take me back” lines.
A common misconception people have is that waiting a while before texting back creates interest. Most times, it doesn’t. It just gives the other party some time to part from his phone and does whatever else he has to do.
It’s simple emotional manipulation and is pretty unhealthy for any relationship – regardless of whether you’re broken up or not. At the same time, you shouldn’t scramble to reply just because. Reply to the message when you have your thoughts together and feel comfortable enough to translate those thoughts into words.
At this point, it’s finally time to fulfill whatever goal you had initially intended to. If you wanted to apologize, it’s your chance. If you wanted to come clean, arrange a meeting so the two of you could figure out what needs settling and put to rest what needs to be killed, now is the time. Remember the cardinal rules, though. It should not always revolve around you. And if somebody decides to break up, both of you probably made some mistakes along the way.
If you’re able to sit down like adults and deal with your problems, it’s a great step in the right direction. The next step would then to discuss the issue of your relationship, how things were and perhaps even how they could be.
Once you’ve both come to terms with the errors of your ways, you’ve found out why won't he talk to me and can settle down at last. Then again, not everything was meant to last. If they don’t want to, you have no choice but to let go.