My BFF Klo and I doing an imitation of….? I’m not sure but it seemed super hilarious at the time.

I’ve decided that red lipstick is my new look. It doesn’t look like much in this picture, but I’ve been wearing some serious crimson shades. What do you think? Do you need to be tan to wear red lipstick? Or is it better to be pale? I can’t decide.

Usually I go as something weird and funny for Halloween, like when I was Lil Wayne:

Or an alligator:

But this year I decided not to be hideous and go as slutty Snow White, mostly because I really wanted to wear a wig. Apparently Klo had a similar idea (which is why we’re BFFs) and she went as Uma from Pulp Fiction.

What do you guys think?

 Ahh heavenlyness!

Lunch by the beach with Sam and Ellen, and we saw dolphins! They rape, you know. Dolphins, not Sam and Ellen. I mean, El and Sammy might but I doubt it. Never say never, though. The day ain’t over yet…

Eeeeee!! Behold, the cover for my new novel, Exes and Ohs: A Downtown Girl’s (Mostly Awkard) Tales of Love, Lust, Revenge and a Little Facebook Stalking.

Weeeee! Ok so what do you think!? Leave me a comment!

There’s NOTHING I hate more than when someone is yammering on and ON about a team or sport and I’m like “Oh, I know someone on that team!” And they act like I just said “I love lamp”. No reaction beyond “Oh. That’s nice”. Not “Really who??”. Nope. Nothing.

Well la di da your majesty, excuse me for interrupting your fanatical, 1 dimensional rampage. I’ll just let you keep rambling on like a deranged lunatic in the taxi line about major league soccer.

And btw, you’re a flaming gay guy which especially irks me. You of ALL people should be excited to hear about all the athletes I’ve gotten naked. This is why you’re a fan and I’m a WAG.

You’re a watcher. I’m a conqueror.

A little part of me dies every time I go to a hockey game and don’t get on the Jumbotron.

My Chem is to Shallons what meth is to Montana hillbillies.

I highly suggest you click here: Art is the Weapon

I really can’t believe that I never got to at least make out with ANYONE in this band. I mean…<em>seriously</em>?

Hooray! I’m FINALLY done with Exes and Ohs: A Downtown Girl’s (Mostly Awkward) Tales of Love, Revenge and a Little Facebook Stalking! I turned the final final final version into my editor 10 minutes ago and I’m soooo stoked to have it all wrapped up. I feel like now that I have two books written I can call myself an “author” not just a “writer.” Author implies plurality somehow.

One of the hardest parts about wrapping up this book was figuring out the order of all the chapters:

I’m already compiling ideas for the third book, which I’m tentatively calling More Awkwarder. What do you think?

But in the meanwhile, hopefully I’ll just be able to relax and enjoy having written a second novel…until of course we get our exact release date (sometime in the spring) and I can start stressing over PR and projected sales.

YAY ME!

 
Owl duz not lyke ze baf time.